Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: fathers (06/06/05)

TITLE: Am I not retired?
By Genstacia Bull
06/13/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Hey Ed, it’s shocking to see how Jenny has grown. She’s a fine young lady.” Ed glances at Jenny’s back as she retires to the kitchen with some of the other ladies from the Brenthood Neighbourhood reunion.

His chest swells with fatherly pride, as he remembers the days he and Phil took turns to pick the children up from school. “Yeah, God is faithful, apart from giving her away on her wedding day. My job is done.” Phil gave him a quizzical look “What do you mean? You are her dad and that doesn’t change just because she grows up.”

“She does not need my money, she is a qualified investment banker. She has more than one property, and drives an expensive car. Jenny does not need me for nothing.” Phil looks at him with mouth agape “ Ed listen to yourself, been a father is more than just providing for her physical needs and giving her a good education. She may need someone she can talk to, a male input, not to mention someone to speak some wisdom into her life.”

“She speaks to her mother.” Phil could tell his friend sense of failure. “You know I love her don’t you Phil? However I feel redundant. I feel guilty that apart from providing for her needs I did not take the time to really know her and now at twenty-seven it is a bit late.”

Phil shook his head “ She still needs you Ed! It was different for me, as my work did not involve as much travel as yours did. However it’s never too late to start again. Let her know you would like to have a deeper relationship with her, ask her forgiveness for not been the dad you should have been. She may be craving your affirmation and input. Don’t take it for granted that she knows you are proud of her.”

Ed slaps Phil on the back “Thanks for the advice buddy, God is the God of second chances I will talk to Jenny and believe He will restore our relationship.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 550 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Lee Schab 06/13/05
This was a good concept. I wish you would have drawn it out a bit more. It was a little simplistic - there wasn't an emotional struggle your character when through to help the reader connect with him. Also, a new paragraph should be started when each person speaks.
A good effort though.
Blessings, Lynda
Shari Armstrong 06/15/05
A nice start you could ad a bit more (ie a flashback of a troubled spot in their relationship) and this has a lot of potential to be an even better piece!
dub W06/19/05
This is a good start, and lots of potential. Watch word choices, and allow the essay to flow. Keep writing, this essay shows you have a spark.