The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/17/08
And what an exciting memory that moment created! I think you could expand on the amazing feelings and drama of "that moment" which was so central to your story. The theme is terrific. I think you could develop it more.
07/19/08
Wonderful story! It brought tears when she remembered--and the analogy of the geyser at the end was fabulous!