The Official Writing Challenge
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You captured my interest at the very beginning and held it till the end in this well told story. What a shaame the cousins never met again.
05/29/08
A vignette well presented. Who knows, maybe it's not the end of the story.
06/01/08
This has the ring of a true story because of the last line. If you ever send this off to be published you may want to change the last sentence because it won't have the context of the weekly writing challenge topic.

Good moods here - the B-grade horror movie, the nervousness, then the warmth and closeness. Lots of "show" in the pacing of the dialogue. I got engaged in the conversation to the point where I could see expressions (smiles, voices speeding up) that you didn't even write about. Well done.
You wrote this story with heart and skill. Book lovers unite!
Sad ending, but it felt right.
06/01/08
Oh... I'm so sad for your loss. You did a great job of using dialog to tell the story. Maybe could use a few more commas, in places [but I have been accused of being comma-happy! =)]. I like how you used the photo and the books to bridge the gap. Blessings, Cheri
06/01/08
I like this slice of life scene. The dynamic of this story was very very good. You portrayed the awkwardness of their meeting so well, building to the things the cousins had in common which sped the pace of the piece just right. Strong use of dialogue. Well done.
You did a great job writing this sad cousin story, and engaging your reader. You illustrated well how quickly cousins, especially children, can often find things in common. I hope you can reconnect with this cousin someday.
06/02/08
Super title, and really good job with the dialogue and dialect.

Some minor punctuation issues, and I thought the end fizzled a bit--maybe just ending with "But she never did..." would work better.

Estranged families make me sad. You did a good job with this.
You drew me in well to this snippet of a memory. Thanks for sharing it! I agree that the last sentence felt like a fizzle, but the rest of the story was great.
Beautifully told! How precious to have a "fond" memory when it's the only one to have. :]
I really hope that you can reunite with this long lost cousin. I enjoyed hearing your story about her. You have a great conversational feel to your stories that makes them easy to just sit down and read. Good job!
06/03/08
Excellent story-telling. Great dialogue. Intrigue. Well done in all areas. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this well-written story.
This sure sounds like a true story. If it is, I hope you can reunite some day. I enjoyed reading about these cousins. Nicely done.
You did a fine job on telling this story. I enjoyed it and I do hope you will get to see this cousin again someday. Well done!
06/04/08
Love the title!I was hoping for a happy ending... so sad. I agree that .. but she never did... would have been a stronger ending. Great writing.
06/04/08
I love the title! It does fit perfectly with the' twice vanished'. I wish the two cousins had been able to meet again, I felt a little said for Alison, she'd just found a friend, one that she'd never get to see again. Great job! ^_^
06/04/08
Good story! I like your title, too; it hints at the mystery of the lost cousin. The characters have good definitions, too.
06/04/08
Great work on this… I was captivated throughout. Your title is perfect. I was sad you never saw your cousin again.
Excellent opening paragraph and the rest didn't disappoint. It sounds like a true story and I enjoyed that.
06/04/08
What a sad story. You had me scanning between the lines to see what mysterious circumstances surrounded the tension between the girl's parents.
06/04/08
Nice work Lynne, I thought you did a great job on the dialogue. I really enjoyed the story and you built the stress between the mom and her brother up very smoothly from the get go. Great job!
06/05/08
Congrats on Level 1st place, Lynne! Outstanding Work!!!
06/05/08
1st Place, Lynne! Awesome job! Congratulations! Blessings, Cheri
06/06/08
First Place Lynne! Congratulations, and off to Advanced with you.
06/09/08
Right on! You deserved FIRST! This was a most delightful story. I didn't want it to end. Your word pictures of the two cousins just put me right in the room with them, sitting on the bed, looking at the album, discussing books....The only disapointing thing was, they never saw each other again. But then, that should have been expected by your title...Great writing...Helen