The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/22/08
Nicely written. I was a bit startled by the abrupt and gruesome death at the end though. Overall, I felt the frustration of searching for a lost cat...I've had three!
I agree, was going along with the story and then to just wham us at the end with a horrible ending (poor cat). Perhaps same ending witha bit more sympathy?
I too felt like the ending was kind of abrupt and sort of took away from the great descriptions you had established in the rest of the story. However, I enjoyed reading about your animals, and I really appreciate you sharing this. :)
05/23/08
You described these animal friends wonderfully - I was captivated by each one. I agree with the advice above as well, but this was a wonderful, atmospheric piece.
05/27/08
I enjoyed getting to know your family pets. I was wondering if a some dialogue might have broken up the narration a little bit. But again, the word count makes a difference too. Still, I liked your detailed descriptions of your pets.
There is an old saying - Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. Succeeded by many other cats over the years, Pawpaw was never replaced. In truth, we mourned.