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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Sibling(s) (05/01/08)

TITLE: A Lonely Lily in a Pond Full of Frogs
By BOB BLACKMAN
05/04/08


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In nineteen hundred and forty-four a baby girl was born
In pretty pink and purple pastels this babe did they adorn,
They dressed her in lovely, lacy, dainty, and delicate gowns
And pictured her a princess fair with jewels and gems and crowns.

When she was barely even one, she claimed a baby brother
A perfect match, a duke for dad, a duchess for the mother
The future prince and princess loved and laughed and giggled and cooed.
While parents watched in wonder, and magic plans, of kingdoms brewed

When she was three and he was two, in nineteen hundred forty-six
The mom brought forth another son into this perfect sibling mix,
The princess played the part of mom and the prince he played the dad
And kingdom dreams began to turn to common families glad.

In nineteen hundred forty-seven, another son arrived
The ratio was three to one, the princess pouted, felt deprived.
She prayed for a sister; for almost a year, she prayed that prayer
But got instead a boisterous brother, much to her despair.

Her mom delivered another boy in nineteen forty-eight
One lonely lily in a pond full of frogs. She knew her fate.
She gave up her Mary Janes, for Keds and petticoats for jeans,
She joined the rowdy boys, in wrestling and fighting like marines.

Four years came and four years went but in the year that she turned eight,
Mother said, “To my surprise, you may yet get a sister mate.”
The mother, the girl’s best friend, was great with yet another child
And when she bore another son, her daughter was bitter riled.

Her mother said, “Child, don’t be stressed, ‘cause you are most surely blessed.
For what will truly make you happy, our loving Lord knows best.”
She forgot her Princess dreams, became enamored with sporting themes,
Was a fan of NASCAR racers, football players and baseball teams.

She learned to love camping, rock climbing, and hunting and hiking,
She wore camouflaged pants and leather, loved Harleys and biking.
Was a tomboy through and through, even succumbed to a small tattoo,
And wed a strong, hardworking man, from her dad’s construction crew.

In nineteen and sixty-six the tomboy gave birth to a girl,
With tiny dimples on rosy cheeks and skin fair as a pearl.
She dressed her in lovely, lacy, dainty, and delicate gowns
And pictured her a princess fair with jewels and gems and crowns.


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This article has been read 485 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/08/08
I liked how you ended your poem as it began and enjoyed the progression of princess to tomboy to wife and mother.
Jan Ackerson 05/08/08
I very much like your rhymes--you chose some different and sophisticated combinations. If I were to suggest anything, it'd be to pay closer attention to strict meter--I stumbled a bit in places.

Good progression and pacing.
Debbie Fuhry05/09/08
I like this! The rhymes were good and carried the story and pacing well.

I love the imagery of the title.
Debbie Wistrom05/09/08
Great title.

Well done and I love the possibility of history repeating itseld.

Loved this!
Chely Roach05/11/08
I too LOVE the title, but the whole poem was wonderful. Well done.
Laury Hubrich 05/12/08
Love your title! This was an enjoyable read:)
Laury
Shirley McClay 05/12/08
I am totally impressed... I am terrified to try a poem! I know nothing about poetry so whether it's good or bad I don't have a clue. This i know... you were brave, you were willing to be stretched, you were very creative, and you once again pushed the bar higher for yourself... don't ruin it by second guessing, regrets, and insecurity! You should be so proud of this piece.
Shirley McClay 05/12/08
This is an awesome poem! I really like it...

I have to confess here that I made a mistake and thought I was commenting on someone else's who was struggling with feeling like they bombed... this was so nicely done there is no way anyone should feel like they did poorly with it!

So sorry for the comment in the wrong spot! I LOVE your poem!!! Very creative and sweet! Awesome title!

Lollie Hofer 05/14/08
The title was intriguing and the poem didn't disappoint. Great story telling. It was fun how the story went full circle. I agree, watch the meter count. You were adventurous in some of your word choices but it worked well.
Ed VanDeMark06/04/08
I read this after you commented on my "Cousin" story. This is a wonderful story but wonderful stories can be told with clumsy words, but not this time. Your rich use of language with a beautiful story well told make this a gem. Thank you.