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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: Death and Victory
By BOB BLACKMAN
04/27/08


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Mother, the sad day that you passed away
To dwell with your Lord beyond starry skies
The depth of my heartbreak, I could not say.

To dwell with your Lord beyond starry skies
Eternally singing His joyous praise
And gazing intently into His eyes.

Eternally singing His joyous praise
While I felt a sorrow, beyond disguise
Emptiness, loneliness, painful malaise

While I felt a sorrow, beyond disguise,
I thought of my loss, I thought of my needs,
And wondered if God even heard my cries.

I thought of my loss, I thought of my needs.
I thought of the things I still needed to say;
Forgive my neglect - forgive my misdeeds.

I thought of the things I still needed to say;
I vowed that Iíd be a worthier son
And let my life be, your love on display.

I vowed that Iíd be a worthier son
Mother, the sad day that you passed away
Was the day victíry in your son was won.


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This article has been read 374 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Chely Roach05/03/08
Sad and beautiful...this spoke to me. I loved the repetition throughout, drawing me down the stanzas...to "victory". Lovely.
Debbie Wistrom05/06/08
Thanks for the hint or I would have missed this touching tribute.

Your title is perfect.
Keep up the good words.

Sara Harricharan 05/07/08
Great job here! I loved the first verse best of all, you did well with the flow and the story idea woven throughout. I especially liked your title, it's another reminder that even through death, can come hope and something new, bringing victory! Excellent job! ^_^
Joanne Sher 05/07/08
Lovely - and isn't that the way it happens sometimes? Enjoyed this piece, and gave me much to ponder.
LauraLee Shaw05/07/08
Perfect tribute. Incredible parallel between this mother's death and what it accomplished to that of Jesus' victory over death. Well done.
Helen Murray05/08/08
Love the pattern of using the second lines to begin the next verses. It works very well in this poem, seeming to emphasise the direction of the thought.