ďHow are you doing, mom?Ē I asked gently as I slid my tea cup onto its platter.
ďIím blessed, but Iím worried KeonaÖĒ she looked deep into my eyes. ďIím just worried about you, youíve stopped coming to church and Iíd really like to see you come back again.Ē Her eyes didnít budge from my fiery gaze. She could tell I was getting angry.
ďMother, I just donít need church or religion. Youíve always tried to get me to believe the same as you but I donít care, I think it is the least of my worries.Ē I shrugged off momís attempts to lure me back to her beliefs.
ďLailani doesnít think so, she goes to church and she has surrendered to the Lord, something I pray for everyday for you girls and your fatherÖĒ
ďWell I am not Lailani, motherĒ I interrupted her and stood up, I felt like steam was coming from my ears. ďI donít need religion, I donít need God and I donít need you, Malia.Ē I grabbed my things and left as fast as I could. I walked down to the beach where I saw the Hawaiian locals and the tourists having a great time.
I donít know why mom has to always push her beliefs on me. I donít believe the same that she does. I suppose I do believe in God I just donít believe that itís important to pursue anything or go any deeper than that, its not important. My thoughts plagued me as I watched two little girls play on the beach. I smiled as they ran around trying to catch each other.
I remember when Lailani and I used to do that on this beach, mom would be sitting on a towel nearby reading her Bible and Lailani and I would try to build a sand castle. We never could build one. I usually got too frustrated and knocked it down before we had any chance to get it anywhere. I suppose Iím like that with everything, I just did that with mom, I knocked her down before she had any chance to get anywhere.
I looked at my watch and saw that mom would be leaving in a couple of minutes to go to church. If I hurry maybe I can catch her before she leaves. I thought as I stood up and started walking towards momís house. When I got there, I could see my good friend, Kale. He was on the phone pacing in the front yard.
ďHey, Kale!Ē I waved to him. He suddenly hung up and ran over to me. ďIíve been calling every where for you.Ē He said breathing heavy. ďYour mom was taken to the hospital, sheís had a heart attackĒ Tears threatened my eyes and without a word, I climbed into my momís car.
I canít believe this is happening. Mom has to be Ok, she just has to be! Oh God, Iím so sorry! Iím sorry I screamed at my mom, Iím sorry I said I didnít need you or my mom. I need you both. Iím not ready to lose my mom yet Lord. Please. Iím nothing without you, I know that. I donít know why I built up a resistance to your love, Lord but Iím sorry. I need you and I pray that you would be with my mom. Iím sorry for everything Lord, Iím sorry for my sins and I know I donít deserve it but please forgive me! I will live my life for you, and I will be yours, even if my mom isnít ok God, because I know that I need you foreverÖno matter what. I pulled into a parking spot at the hospital and wiped away a few stray tears. I rushed into the hospital and the first face that greeted me was Lailaniís.
ďLailani, Is she ok?Ē I waited for her to give me an answer. I couldnít believe what she said.
ďGod has taken her home, Keona.Ē She hugged me tightly and we cried together.
Keona cleared her throat, ďI know that someday I will be in Heaven with my Lord and Savior and I know I will see my mom again. But, in the meantime, Iím going to live my life for my Savior and praise Him dailyĒ she stepped back, with one big swoop the pastor pushed her under the water and brought her back up. She came up to find crying faces looking back at her.
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