The Official Writing Challenge
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This reminds me of a not altogether similar incident many years ago. I trust that this had a happier ending than the incident of memory. Good story telling. God bless you.
04/26/08
Bitterness will take root and destroy a person--from the inside out. This is a good example of that.
04/27/08
Poor Aunt Irene. I was laughing at the Cease and Desist Order being given for the Lord's Supper, but then you quickly went serious with the stroke - so maybe the first part wasn't meant to be funny. I guess I wanted to see something happen to Irene (but not as serious as the stroke). I was also wondering why the Johnson's refer to Uncle Bob as "Uncle Bob".
04/28/08
This is very well-written and entertaining, but it left me with some questions. Bob seems to be such a righteous man, and I'd like some explanation as to their divorce. Aunt Irene's bitterness just doesn't make sense, from what we know of them. So, just a tad more characterization for both of them would be in order, I think.

Great job with the action and the dialogue.
04/28/08
I would agree with the comments already given. Though the ending was very serious, the lesson that our unrighteous acts and attitudes have consequences that are not always pleasant, was loud and clear.
This flows smoothly, and is well-written, although I have to agree that it does leave a few questions unanswered. I like the setting around the table. I could picture it clearly. Nicely done.
04/28/08
Wow, what a powerful story. A very good reminded of how unforgiveness poisons the person holding it, not the person it is directed at. Like others have said, it leaves me wanting to know more of the story. Good job.
Great out of the box entry here, this had me gripping my seat, not sure how her evil mission would turn out. Poor Scotty! Keep writing, you have a gift, for sure.
I really enjoyed the Communion portion of the story. I was really into it, and then suddenly I felt the interruption by Aunt Irene as she rudely pounded on the door.

The ending kind of surprised me. I guess I wasn’t expecting the stroke. I think with a bigger word count, you could have made this great story even better. I wanted to see what happened after Bob prayed for Irene.

Thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed this.
04/28/08
I wish you had more words to expound on this one! I was intrigued by the two characters, and would love to know more about them.
What a bitter and unhappy woman Aunt Irene is. Goodness, I hope the stroke helps her to see the folly of her foolish ways. Gossip is so destructive, but it counts as nothing as to what unforgiveness can do to both body and soul. You have shown this so very well by your entry this week.
04/28/08
I really liked the dialogue, and the character of Aunt Irene. You really had the bitter old woman down pat.

But the storyline confused me some. I didn't understand why a retired minister would be divorced. (I know that happens, but it didn't seem to make sense with the rest of his character.) So while I liked this little snippet, I didn't follow the story very well.

Very well written--I just want to know more. :)
04/28/08
This was a gripping story that well illustrates the ugliness of divorce. Obviously, not enough words allowed to fully give the back story, but I too really wanted to know the reason behind the divorce (but my guess was HER!). Great creative entry.
Tim, this confirms your gift as a good story-teller. Yes, I agree it was gripping; more than that I felt it was reminiscent of what happened to Ananias and Saphira in the Acts of the Apostles. I am going to take a stab that your reason for having everyone call him "Uncle Bob" might have been to tighten the topic. As to consistent story line, because you described your mc as radical I feel you succeeded in his characterization - divorce would be a plausible, if not ideal, outcome for an intense person like that, especially given the Pharasaical leanings of Aunt Irene.

Very good writing, Tim.
Excellent writing showing the bitterness and great and the ending was perfect. Good job on topic!