The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/17/08
Great ending--I like it when characters experience (as you put it) a moment of clarity.

If he'd already had two beers, I wish he'd not driven home, though. (My personal bias, admittedly).

A few too many commas in some places, otherwise very well-written. A good discussion piece for men's groups.
04/17/08
I love the honesty in your story, and clarity of hope in a hopeless situation. I wonder at the end, how would Chapter 2 read? Could be the beginning of a great book!
I like how you describe his inner struggle because I think we've all had those moments with respect to our relationships. I especially like how you end it with an a glimmer of hope.
04/22/08
You really put us in Martin's head, and that really a lot to the story.
04/24/08
Congrats girl! I knew that this was a good one!
04/24/08
Congratulations on your Highly Commended. Good job with the topic.