The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/10/08
What a beautiful story! I really liked the description of the little girl's head hanging like a week old stalk of celery. Very moving.
04/12/08
I like the title, needs a little work here and there with the diaglogue. You changed the MC thoughts to the mother's at the end. Rework that, something like, Constance could just imagine her mother running into Jesus's arms. Keep writing.
04/12/08
At the beginning I thought it was off-topic; however, after reading to the end I found that it was through the grandmother that the story of Jesus was told. Very touching.
I enjoyed this story, the dialogue, and the characters. It was easy for me to picture everything that was going on.

I look forward to reading more of your entries in the near future. Thank you for sharing this.
04/16/08
This is a beautiful story. I loved the image of her head hanging like week old celery and I could picture Julia bursting in. The ending was just right.