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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Easter (05/30/05)

TITLE: To Be or Not To Be Goth
By Leticia Caroccio


To Be or Not To Be Goth

Taylor walked into the dinning room, slinked in the chair behind her dinner plate and sucked her teeth. With her lip curled in attitude she said, “Can we please just eat?” A chorus of teens sucking teeth joined in. This Gang of Depressed Beings, all dressed in black, were my daughter’s friends. As they each accepted a plate of food, they sat in silence and began to eat, never once looking at each other. I took a deep breath and did the same.

Here I was, having Easter dinner with this mysterious group of Goths, and I was quite intimidated by their silent darkness. I had so much to say, so many questions to ask. But I decided to choose my battle and this was not one of them. So I joined the silent ladies in black and ate my dinner in silence. My mind drew me back to a time when Taylor was born.

My labor was not long but it was difficult. Taylor was a bouncing baby girl of 10 lbs. She was stunning, with big beautiful hazel eyes and sweeping curly lashes that gently brushed her cheeks. Her rosebud lips were always pursed into a pout. I had such hopes and dreams for her then, as I still do now. I look across the table and watch her as she tosses aside the meat and only picks at the vegetables. I start to say something to her but instead I let my mind drift.

I see my little girl as she struggles to tie her shoes. The intensity on her face was impressive. I knew that she was a fighter. Taylor was always determined to carry things through, no matter how difficult things seemed. I have always said that Taylor is the child that I wished I could’ve been. She’s tough where I was weak; the defender of all lost causes where I tended to cower and run from confrontation.

As the Dark Beings begin to push themselves away from the moratorium that is the Easter meal, I look at my daughter. She is making it a point to look into my face. There is a smile on her face and a small light glinting from her eyes. She begins to clear the table. I smile back at her. She walks over to me and softly kisses my head and says, “Thanks for dinner but I couldn’t eat the carcass”. I start to laugh. Realizing that my daughter will be just fine, I remind myself that I must let her go.

I find myself sitting in the living room, along with my cup of herbal tea. I have my feet up on the ottoman and am listening to soft music when I hear my daughter and her friends come into the room. They begin to put on their black coats, still moving in utter silence. I say, “Taylor, remember your curfew”. She looks back at me, through smeared mascara-ed eyes and stares. Her look says a million words not yet spoken. “Mom, I may not be where I am supposed to be today but I am still on the journey” is what her stare said loud and clear. I concede and sip my hot tea. As it hotly goes down my throat I take a deep breath and bite my tongue.

It is Easter, a time of new birth, of new beginnings. It is a time when we remember the sacrifice of our Father, who lovingly gave His Son for us. His promises are true, as seen in His powerful resurrection. My daughter, like a butterfly is morphing into a young woman of substance; not in my way but in His way and in her own unique way.

Taylor is becoming who she is supposed to be. I have to sit back and let her make her mistakes and walk this journey, with all of its difficult roadblocks and forks in the road. If I am to survive these teen age years then I must learn to see each new day as just that: a new opportunity to see the light in my daughter’s heart, to see the struggle that I am confident she will win. I must continue to pray.

Taylor waves a black draped arm in my direction as she follows her friends in silence out the door. Though she did not notice it, I wave back and say a silent prayer for her.

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This article has been read 803 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Delores Baber06/06/05
Lovely story. Thanks for sharing. These are the words of a mother who is gifted with wisdom. This wisdom tells her when NOT to rebuke or critize. A wisdom that knows God is in control and to trust the process that is occuring in the daughter's life. Too often we focus on the things we don't like [the long hair, pierced nose, etc]and forget that our job is to give them roots and wings and trust the Lord to take it from there. It made me wish I had been that wise when mine where still at home.
Linda Stauth06/07/05
WOW! What an encourgement your article is to me at this point in my life. I have a teenage son that I need to trust God with and I am struggling. Your strong trust and faith in God's process in our lives is evident.
Chelsea Pietsch06/07/05
A very touching piece. Your wisdom and love shines through the awkwardness. I especially appreciate how through the few actions of your daughter you describe, it is apparent that she returns your love. She seems to know what it cost you to be silent, and is grateful for it. She may be astray in some ways, but her heart is still with you, even if sometimes it seems otherwise. Well done!
Sandra Petersen 06/08/05
This story chilled me. But you put some small glimmers of light here and there. A good reminder to me as a mother of a teen who acts sometimes like she is 40 and sometimes rebels that I must choose the battles with her wisely. Your description of the group of friends is very good. Wonderful story!
dub W06/08/05
Wow, tough, am praying for all parents, releasing the rein is oh, so hard.
Helga Doermer06/08/05
OH, those glimmers, those hopeful glimmers. As the mother of a teen, I live for them.
Amy Verlennich06/08/05
I loved this article. If I were to critique anything, it would be the past and present texts. Choose to either be sitting now, or if it's a story you're reflecting on. Other than that, I loved it! It was encouraging for me as well with a son whom I pray for daily. Thank you.
Shari Armstrong 06/08/05
Oh the teen years! I read that and had to wonder what they have in store for us? It reminds me how important it is to pray for our children. It appears that the young lady in this piece seems to have a good head on her shoulders and does love her mom, despite the unusal dress. Nicely pulled together.
Michelle Burkhardt06/12/05
Your title grabbed me and your story was very descriptive. Nice flow and nicely told. I do believe we need to pray for our children and there is no doubt God is in control. However, I'm not sure I see the woman's choice of silence a good idea. I only have young ones now, but maybe this is inexperience speaking but, I would not allow Goth of any sorts. Junk in Junk out. I am praying for all parents of teens. It sounds like a very difficult time. Nice story, very thought provoking.
Suzanne R06/12/05
The title grabbed me and the content didn't disappoint me! Thanks for sharing your hope as you watch your morphing butterly!
Crista Darr06/13/05
Although not sure I agree with your "silence", this story is still one of my favorites. You've written an exceptional piece.