The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/10/08
This feels like a snippet from a larger piece. What an interesting person Henry is! It felt like there was more telling than showing here, but I realize there was a lot of backstory going on. I love how the title ties in and fits this so perfectly.
04/11/08
I really liked the characters but it was just too much for a short piece. I felt like I was rushed from one paragraph to the next. Trying to make the connection of times gone by to the present story distracted me from a more enjoyable read. My favorite part was his "trademark sign" That was good.
04/12/08
I would love to read more about this family. It would make a really great longer piece where things could more easily flow. Great job!
With the word count limitation, it is very hard to cram everything into a piece of writing sometimes. I think this piece is very well written, but it left me hanging. I would love to see you post an expanded version in the regular article submission area. This family is very interesting, and I would love to hear even more back story and also what happened next with the family.

Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing!
04/16/08
What? I'm not sure what happen here. I believe you were trying to tell a much broader story. Given the word count you must learn to condense, condense, condense, so that the reader is not left hanging. Henry sounded like the Dad in meet the Fockers. Overall writing was good.
04/18/08
Congratulations, Scott, on placing seventh in your level with this piece. Great work!