The Official Writing Challenge
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03/13/08
I really liked "It did not resemble the darkness of night..." Very good writing.
03/13/08
This retelling of a bible story works well because of the different angle you took.
03/13/08
Superb writing, unique and creative POV--this is simply outstanding.

I don't see the proverb here, though...help me out?

I really like it when someone tells a familiar Bible story from a completely unexpected POV. Loved this.
03/15/08
Wow - this is amazingly vivid and powerful writing.

I think the topic is only touched upon here - not the main focus - but I have to say that is the ONLY fault I find with this piece.

Excellent, excellent detail and a very creative POV on this Biblical account. Wow.
03/16/08
This was very powerful, and I get the topic completely.It is the consequences of the pharoah not letting the Isrealites free when he had the chance.Also very sad,I don't often think of the pain and suffering the average egyptian went through as a result of their rulers stubborness.
03/16/08
A very beautiful and powerful piece. The topic is there (Pharoah not "making hay"--by letting the Isrealites go right away--and the terrible consequences his own people had to suffer as a result). But the POV you used does make that connection a little more subtle. That said, I loved this POV! A very unique and creative take on the story. And I really loved your descriptions. Great writing!
Wow, what a great POV...I just finished a book about University students who tried to oppose Hitler during WWII and lost their lives for it...we sometimes forget that innocent people suffer under cruel rulers...obviously the Egyptians were as much victim as the Israelites under Pharoah's stubbornness.
But...as God told Moses...THE WHOLE WORLD will know I am God. Several entries last week on Rahab bears out the truth of that statement.

Thanks for a whole new, creative angle!!!!
Very different POV for a well known Bible story. Well written and your MC's thoughts were moving. Indeed, if only Pharoah had released God's people sooner.
Excellent! What a sad, ironic ending.
We often forget about some of the innocent people that suffer because of ignorant rulers. This story points out the sufferings of some of the innocent Egyptian people.

I saw the topic in this, though I saw it as being the fact that Pharaoh didn't let the Israelites go as soon as he should have. He could have prevented all of this suffering from happening.

Because the story focuses on the suffering woman and not Pharaoh, you have to dig a little bit in order to find the topic.

I am so glad that you shared this story. Your descriptions are superb, and though sad, the ending is very effective.
03/18/08
I think this is a deeply moving story, and could be a useful evangelistic monologue in a church service, if done properly. Congrats on your writing job.
Oh I hate how this is going to end for her and I love that you don't show us the Passover night. Thanks for a marvelous entry, I feel that we may have a placer here.
03/19/08
I think I keep saying "Wow" with every new piece I read, but this is really WOW, it's different! I love that it's told from a completely different view on a story of old. I am curious of one thing though, her firstborn son was alive? or dead? I'm thinking that he was alive after she prayed, but otherwise, this was pretty good! ^_^
03/19/08
I think this was a very creative telling of the Biblical story from a different POV. Only thing I would nitpick about is it would be just a tad far-fetched. Egypt at that time was very metropolitan and even if the MC was on the outskirts of the city I cannot see the things happening that you described. Just my humble opinion, you have a very good imagination keep up the good work.
03/20/08
Oooh, Congrats on your well-deserved win! ^_^
03/20/08
Congratulations on your 1st place. I love Bible stories from a character we don't "know."

I agree that the topic connection was subtle--but it is definitely there. Just not in an obvious way. And I was also a little confused about what happened at the end.

Very nice writing.
What a unique point of view for this familiar story. Very well written. Poor woman, she thinks nothing could be worse, now she'll be loosing her baby.
Congratulations on earning first place. It's well deserved. You're moving on up. :-)
03/24/08
Oh, so sad. Truly a talented author, you are!
Laury
03/24/08
Wow, this is really GOOD!!! Love the POV, great writing and descriptions. Congratulations on 1st place and advancing to Advanced!!
04/03/08
You have a great talent drawing a reader in to make them feel apart of these Bibical stories. Very well written and congrats on your first place win.
05/06/08
I missed this one earlier--glad you submitted it for the "resolution" class. Your last 4 sentences--wow!