The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/13/08
Very good example of this topic!

I think a straightforward narrative like this is best told entirely in past tense. You hoppped about a bit from present tense to past and back.

Hard to belive things like this can happen in our churches--but they do! So sad.
03/14/08
I can see how divisive an issue like this could be - and you portrayed it quite well.

Watch your tenses - you switched from past to present here and there.

This entry felt like it was really happening. Good job.
03/16/08
A very good story; but the whole situation about safety in God's House is hard to believe; I know it is for me...(and I've never wanted to be a Doubting Thomas - but it's disturbing to me).

Nevertheless, this is Nicely done, written well, and makes a very good point.
03/16/08
Definitely a tough topic to deal with. I agee with the tense issues mentioned above, but I do like the story. Although we can't control the actions of the "crazies" you mentioned, the "it can't happen here" attitude is the simply the wrong attitude for all of today's churches, schools, & offices, no matter what size town.
A thought provoking read.