The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/06/05
Beautiful poem! I, too, have been to Oberammergau in the Bavarian Alps to the little village where the Passion Play draws folks from all over the world. I have a copy of an article of a couple who had seen it the day before and stopped a man raking leaves to ask him some questions and discovered he was the man that had played the role of Christ. The visitor said, "We mistook him for the gardner." Not the first one to say that, was he? Your words captured the majesty of what took place on that cruel hill so long ago.
06/06/05
Loved this - the car through me because it was all so real. When I understood, it was still great!
06/07/05
I had to read this carefully -but that's NOT a bad thing!! I allowed myself to get destracted, but had to go back and read it again, to get the full picture-I didn't want to miss it! Very nice!
Beautifully written, complete with a surprise and unexpected ending. Your poem had a picturesque air about it, it was bright and clever. I enjoyed it very much.
06/09/05
Loved it, thank you.
Nice poem. The car threw me at first too, but very cool. It left me thinking how casually we take His sacrifice, having heard of it so many times. Well done.
Well done. I enjoyed your poem as you gave in few words the life of Christ and His death. You then brought us to the present in a surprise ending to add to this gift of yours.
I was surprised by the car too. Great way to make us think and re-read your poem. Nice job.
Excellent poem. I loved the way you had everyone some completely in the past when in fact it was a present day event.
This was wonderful... I also loved the way you had your readers in the midst of Jesus' days on Earth and then - pow - jolted back to today's world! Your excellent historical/Biblical facts helped us to 'see, hear and feel' all that you described. Well done! Blessings. Peggy
This was wonderful... I also loved the way you had your readers in the midst of Jesus' days on Earth and then - pow - jolted back to today's world! Your excellent historical/Biblical facts helped us to 'see, hear and feel' all that you described. Well done! Blessings. Peggy
Debra, I had read this a few days back and meant to say--Great!! Love the way you give us the exact feeling of being entranced in a theatrical performance then the end comes, and we're jolted back into reality. Thank you for the encouragement you give to all FWs and to me!
06/16/05
Great poem. BUT (hope you appreciate some helpful thoughts) it might be more powerful if you would have concluded with restating the first 2 sentences instead of bringing back to today, this would leave us focussed on Jesus. You seemed to like & may want to adopt my technique of adding scripture and a challenge to readers at the end. Thanks for your review of Fathers day prayer.
06/16/05
Your poem is great & did enjoy it. I'm fairly new to faithwriters & appreciate everyone being so nice, but happen to think a review/critique was to help others improve. I truly hope you win 1st place for our poem if I don't. Ha! Ha! Have a great day.