The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/28/08
Wow! I wonder how many "Christian" houses you just described? You told Sarah's tale very well and I felt for her. I so hope she makes the right choice and keeps the baby. Do you have a second chapter in the works? Hope so! Great writing!
Laury
Sad, sad story! I see a touch of the topic here. I would have liked to have seen a little hope in the end, but life doesn't always bring hope. Keep plugging.
03/01/08
So realistic and biting and convicting. Excellent descriptions and characterization. I hope you expand this.
03/01/08
Yikes, so sad! I certainly hope that there are not many homes like this--you definitely put your readers right in the middle of the action, and it was a squirmy place to be! Great writing.
03/02/08
Good descriptions in this piece. Keep writing.
03/03/08
Very well written - great descriptions and emotions. Perfect for this topic. We learn more from the actions we see from our parents' more than from their words, huh?
03/03/08
Sad, but true for a lot of homes. Good job Marita!
03/03/08
I loved it Marita! In my experience as a pregnancy counselor, it was a sad reality of how many girls were from "solid" but hypocritical Christian homes...good job!
It's amazing that the church accepted Bill as a deacon.
So right on topic with a side twist. So sad for Sarah. Great inner dialog from her.
Keep up the good words.
03/03/08
Yes, I'd like to see this one "resolved" like a piece of good music. Good work.
Whoa. Very intense. The scary part of that story is that it's real. Every church has members just as you described, and the children of those parents end up following the example set for them. No wonder the church seems to be hurting as much as the world nowadays. This is a wake up call for all of us.

Marita has done it again! Awesome job! :)
You described so vividly a sad story of hypocrisy. The reader can easily guess the very unhappy future for your MC.
03/05/08
Wow, what a power-packed piece. I can tell you whole-heartedly that this is the way it looks in many "religious" homes. I can't go so far as to say 'Christian,' but people trying to look Christian for sure. Your piece gives us here at Faithwriters just that much more fuel for our goal of reaching people who are outside the faith, inside the faith and wreaking havoc on the faith. God uses us everywhere! :)
03/05/08
What an authentic piece on the consequences of religious (vs relational) and detoured homes. Very well done, the dialogue was very good.
If people only understood, truly understood the importance of family our world would be so much better. With role models like hers, no wonder integrity and honesty are unsubstantial. That being said, I'm holding out hope for her...she seems to have a good heart and there's gotta be someone just around the corner, or maybe the next pew.
03/05/08
Wow. Hypocrite doesn't even cover that. I liked the MC-loved her name-lol, but the story was so sad. It was very good with the you-are-there atmosphere and I ached watching the story play out and knowing the end would only bring heartbreak. You crafted this very well. Nice job. ^_^
Great story Marita. Wouldn't you just love to invite the Pastor to the house and not tell the father he was there. Good descriptions and emotions. Well done!
Girl, you sure can write. That was awesome in a real, sad way. Very impressive.
03/06/08
Congratulations on your Highly Commended, Marita!! :)
03/06/08
***Congrats on your highly commended! Ya did good! ***
03/06/08
Congratulations on your highly commended. Your MC's voice was perfect, and you were right on the topic.
03/06/08
Congratulations on HIghly Commended!