The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/28/08
Wow, this is really powerful! Very well done.
This is a good story. But I was a little confused at the end. Didn't know exactly what happened there. Just a little more detail might help. But the story is right on topic.
02/28/08
Very good details and sense of place. Nicely written!
02/29/08
Vivid descriptions and a good illustration of the topic. Keep writing.
02/29/08
The Story reads like a chapter from a book....now there's an idea!
03/01/08
Actions speak louder than words...and when John retold the story, he did the same. Very well done. Good read!
03/01/08
I too was a little confused by the ending. A little tightening in those last paragraphs and this will be even better! Great story.
03/01/08
The Story,was an excellent read until the last few paragraphs where everyone is getting confused. (It wasn't just me). Clear that up and this one is one of the best so far.
The ending seemed rushed. I suppose it was because of the word count, right? If you ever rewrite this, though, you can fix that. Good work with the rest!