The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/22/08
I like it! Short, lyrical, biting.
02/22/08
Some poetic images in this piece. There were also some awkward phrases. Reading the piece out loud before submitting will help. Keep wrting.
I like how you concealed Adam's identity until the end.
The topic tie-in, however, keeps eluding me, though I feel like I should be getting it. Just a little too subtle for me, I guess. :-)
02/23/08
Very clever. I love how succinct it is, but would also LOVE to see it expanded. This is very well-written.