The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Cute story--I could hear the voices of the Grandpa and the little kid.

It appears that you had more words--think about using them to add descriptions: the porch where they're sitting, the apples they're crunching, the crickets in the background, etc. It helps your readers to be more involved in the scene than an all-dialogue piece can.

Great application of the topic.
I enjoyed this. A great story and example of the topic.

I liked that you opened with the little boy and grandma - I almost wish you had closed with him, too - just to give the story a special closure. Could be me, though.

I also noticed a few punctuation things that might improve your entry visually. Feel free to PM me if you're interested in some help.

Keep writing - this was a fun read!
This had such a great opening and a wonderful message! I wish the ending hadn't felt so abrupt. A little tightening and I think this would be fantastic!!
Oh, and I thought it hit the topic perfectly!
I think everything that needs to be said has been said. Enjoyed your story. Thumbs up!
This story will teach the lesson expertly - "Not to cut off your nose to spite your face" an extra adage of "not being cruel to God's little creatures, no matter what." Good story...
Hi - Easy read. I enjoyed reading your story,Thank you for reminding me of memories on the farm. Keep writing.
The story was short but effective. You illustrated the topic perfectly. I hope that farmers don't really light fox tails on fire. :) Keep up the great writing!
Good story and on topic, ended sort of abruptly though. A couple more sentences and this could be tied up nicely. Good Job!