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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)

By Kenneth Heath


Crash, Boom, Bang!

In a near death experience, they say your life flashes before your eyes. Well, I beg to differ. I was riding my motorcycle along an empty country road. Suddenly, three cows burst from the bush and ran directly into me. The first cow crashed into the front of my motorcycle, redirecting us into the bush on the far side of the road. The second cow’s head smashed into my back, breaking my ribs and sending me flying onto the tar at 75miles an hour. To be perfectly honest, the only thing that came into my mind was a long lost profanity, before I slammed into the undergrowth.

As I lay there with the dust settling around me, and my beautiful motorcycle lying crumpled in the dirt, I wiggled my toes to see if I had any spinal damage. They moved freely. Intense pain flowed through my body, I could not sit up and I was battling to breathe. Fortunately, my friends who were riding with me, turned back to assist. One rushed over and tried frantically to remove my helmet, without undoing the strap. She nearly pulled my head off before realizing her mistake. They were unable to get an ambulance to assist me, but as we were only 20 miles from home, they called another friend who arrived by car to take me to a hospital.

The hospital was 40 miles away from my home, and on arrival at the hospital I was placed on a gurney and rushed to the X-ray department. I had been wearing protective clothing, so I had no external damage and the specialist needed to see what internal damage had been done.

A beautiful young Radiographer met me at the door and in order to obtain the best possible X-rays, she asked me to stand in various positions. By this time, three hours later, I was in so much pain that I could no longer move my limbs, so she said to me,
“Place your arms around my neck, and I will assist you to get into the correct position.”

I glanced nervously at the door where my wife and daughter were standing. They smiled and nodded encouragingly. There I was, in “old mans heaven”, a beautiful young lady asking me to put my arms around her long curvaceous neck, with my wife and daughter encouraging me to do so…and I could not even lift my arms above my hips!…………Sometimes life sucks!!!

Two months later I went back to work and got my life back on track. The most important thing to a biker is his motorcycle and I focused all my attention on it. Mine was repairable and all the parts were available except for the exhausts, and herein lies the crux of my mournful tale. More than a year earlier I had decided to replace my standard exhausts with flashy stainless steel ones. They were not made locally and were ordered from Holland. They were specially made for me at great cost and through a comedy of errors the factory had taken a year to deliver them to me.

At the time of my accident the original exhaust pipes were in perfect working order and there was no reason to replace them. However, the weekend of my accident, I was going to a large motorcycle rally and I wanted to show off my new “pipes.” My son, who lives a thousand miles away, was travelling down to join me and I wanted to show him how they looked on my bike. So, instead of being prudent and waiting for the original exhaust pipes to wear out, I had the new ones fitted in time for the rally. The old ones had to be cut off and were trashed.

Oh, woe is me! Had I not been in such a hurry, I would have had a brand new set of exhausts to fit on my bike after the accident. Instead, I had to go through the whole exhausting and expensive rigmarole of trying to obtain new exhausts again. If only we could have the foresight to have hindsight, life would be so much easier.

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This article has been read 551 times
Member Comments
Member Date
LauraLee Shaw02/14/08
What a story! Did this really happen to you? Scarey stuff.
Please take my suggestions for what they are, my personal opinion. Your title led me to think at first that your piece would be a child's story, but it was anything but that. Also, I didn't see a very strong tie-in to the topic.
You have a lot of wit in your writing. I enjoyed that. :)
c clemons02/15/08
I agree with the previous reviewer on one thing, needs a new title. The other comment not seeing the tie-in, she must be blind.. I mean she probably needs to not speed read :) I really enjoyed this story. I think the guys out there will really get a bang (excuse the pun) out of it. Keep writing, Good job!
Tim Pickl02/19/08
There's no use crying over being spilled by a cow! I can almost hear the roar of the bikes...