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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: birthday (05/23/05)

TITLE: A Push In the Right Direction
By Pat Guy
05/27/05


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A Push In the Right Direction


“This too shall pass.” (tight squeeze) “This too shall pass.” (tight squeeze) “This too shall pass.”

With a grimace and clinched fists, Charlene reminded herself of this promise.

It was obvious God felt it was time for her to move on – she was ready. She could handle it!

But – “I don’t think so!” was pounding in her heart.

She didn’t want to go through with this! Why was God putting pressure on her to do something so unfamiliar!

tight squeeze – tight squeeze – tight squeeze

To stay was to perish, so what choice did she have? If she didn’t move forward she could hurt the one she loves. Things had to change.

A new way of life lay ahead!

Charlene began to feel panicky. She didn’t mind peace and quite, she liked the rhythm and order of her life as it is now. She didn’t want this challenge!

tight squeeze – tight squeeze – tight squeeze

“Ok God, this is really getting uncomfortable now!”

“You said you would help me! Tell me again! – You love me, right? You won’t leave me, right?”

tight squeeze – tight squeeze – tight squeeze

“This transition isn’t easy, God!”

tight squeeze – tight squeeze – tight squeeze

“Is it really going to be worth it?”

‘Yes my precious one. The Gifts I have waiting for you are worth the struggle, the pain, the Sacrifice.’

tight squeeze – tight squeeze – tight squeeze

“Ok God, let’s roll!”

tight squeeze – tight squeeze – tight squeeze

Charlene’s tiny lungs ached with the filling of new life. The chill on her skin made her squirm. The sound of her own cry startled her senses. The haze of light confusing.

A relief to stretch in all directions!

Carried to the heart that beat so close to hers, the warm softness of her mother soothes the first moments of life.

A blur of love appears close to her face; her cries subside and Charlene tries to focus……. a Twinkle catches her attention – her father’s eyes.

The Smile of God twinkling through is met with the fleeting smile of the newborn.

Her father reaches out and strokes her cheek.

Relaxing in this warmth of love, Charlene closes her eyes to rest.

The day of her birth.
The birth of her journey.


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This article has been read 1346 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Leslie Lamb05/30/05
I loved the last two lines! Very poetic.
Helga Doermer05/31/05
Beautiful last two lines. They contain a wealth of wisdom.
Margaret Woolington06/01/05
Very interesting view of a birth day a very important first. I loved your single line approach and the birthing child's viiew of what is happening. I think you have a bit of a poet in you.
Debbie OConnor06/02/05
Very unique and creative!
Lynda Lee Schab 06/03/05
Very creative piece! I went back and read it again with the knowledge of who was speaking and it was even better the second time.
Wonderful take on "birthday."
Well done!
Blessings, Lynda
darlene hight06/03/05
I really loved this! What a great take on the topic. You did a wonderful job pulling me along in two different arenas.
Suzanne R06/03/05
Beautiful! I too loved the last two lines. What a great entry!
Val Clark06/03/05
Well done! A creative and engaging story with a unique point of view.
dub W06/03/05
Oh yes! So creative and well written. (sits here applauding)
Maxx .06/03/05
Very good! Great hook and resolution!
Joanne Malley06/04/05
Very creative and interesting delivery! Good job!
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/04/05
What a darling story! Great job and great point of view!
Nancy Hardy06/06/05
I thoroughly enjoyed the uniqueness and creativity you so magnificently penned in this most outstanding offering! It is truly deserving of this first place recognition!! Way to go, Pat!!!
Deborah Porter 06/06/05
Pat, well done on a very creative entry in the Birthday Challenge and congratulations on your 1st place win in the Level 2 Challenge, and of course, your very important 6th place win in the Editors' Choice. Congratulations. Now, with that win behind you, it really is time to move up to Level 3. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Lois Jennison Tribble06/07/05
Great job, Pat! Very creative and clever, with excellent ending. Congratulations on your well-deserved win and promotion to Advanced. I'll look forward to seeing you there!
Sally Hanan06/08/05
Well done Pat. This was a lovely piece.