The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/07/08
Well done--the conversation struck me as very realistic.

Since you had words left over, I'd have appreciated some context. Set the men in a room, give them cups of coffee, let me know what they look like. It just makes the story more relate-able.

Yes, he's in good company, indeed!
02/09/08
"Paul ran aged fingers through his thinning gray hair." I began to relate to the storywith this sentence - it brought it to life! Great topic - I too would love more detail.
02/09/08
Great conversation. I was a little lost in the middle--a few lines of background or setting would've cleared that up, but the dialog was good.
02/09/08
I would love to hear the background of this conversation a little, but the dialogue is well done.
02/09/08
This could easily have been taken from the Bible. Different names for the characters and you could almost be reading about any of the early churches.
I would have liked to have been able to read more of the background too. Good read all the same.
02/10/08
You do a great job with dialogue. The story ended a bit abruptly for me, however. I didn't feel like I knew for ceratin who was keeping bad company. The father/son relationship makes the story extra sad.
02/10/08
I like your title/take on the topic. The last paragraph was a great conclusion.
I, too, would vote for more explanation of the background of the dispute.
02/12/08
I like your writing style, it flows nicely and you handled the conflict between the two individuals very well. When I read what James was saying about the other individual, my thought was, "talk about calling the kettle black". Great job.
02/13/08
Heehee, you had me here for a moment! I was really thinking he was Paul and wondering where a James had come in. ^_^ Nice job, the twist at the end, making this a more modern story is good. I like how he says he classed with a group of good folks. Nice job with tying your title in and everything. ^_^
02/13/08
Love the ending, too bad, but maybe the youngster will have a change of heart. Great comparisons.
02/13/08
Love the way your words flow! Well written!!