The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/31/05
Nice entry! The conversation at the coffee house is very believable.
05/31/05
Bravo! I enjoyed this. Your dialoge was very believable. It gives me courage to be more open about my own faith with those that I meet.
06/01/05
Nicely plotted. I would suggest that you try to be more consistent with verb tenses; about half are present tense and about half pastt tense. It's a little distracting for your reader. Otherwise, a lovely story.
I really enjoyed the story. I wondered about their past together and could picture the two of them sitting in the coffee shop. The conclusion was too quick for me. You gave so much to your story. Nice job.
Interesting story. I particularly liked: "She does not do surprises, she does strategy". This was was fun.

Did you mean to say: She came out of the "salon" or was it supposed to be "saloon"? In any case, nicely done.