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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "A Man is Known by the Company He Keeps" (without using the actual phrase). (01/31/08)

TITLE: Warring Voices
By Tim Pickl
02/02/08


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STEVEN
(center stage) I feel so depressed. So down. I don't know.
I don't even know why I'm alive. Why am I here?
(looks up) What's the point?

VOICE #1
You're a good-for-nothin' dirty rotten dog!

VOICE #2
You'll never do anything with your life!

VOICE #3
Oh stop tryin'...you know you're not good enough.

STEVEN
Go away!

VOICE #1
You're just a Loser. Loser with a capital 'L'!
Give up! Give up! Give up!

VOICE #2
Loser, loser, loser--

VOICE #3
Why even bother? Just end it all--

VOICE #1
Yeah--right now--

STEVEN
(reaches for a shotgun, picks it up, then sets it down)
SHUT UP! Get out of here! Get out of my head.

[Sound: Ringtone. "Born to be wild" (Steppenwolf, 1968)]

STEVEN
(clicks his cell phone on) What?

RAYMOND
Hi, Steve?

STEVEN
(snaps back) What do you want?

RAYMOND
Steve, it's me.

STEVEN
Me, me who?

RAYMOND
It's your brother--Ray.

VOICE #1
Just hang up!

STEVEN
Go away!

RAYMOND
What did you say?

STEVEN
Oh, it was nothin'. Hey Ray, what's up?

RAYMOND
(off stage) I'm worried about you, man.
In fact, I'm on my way to see you.

VOICE #2
Tell him to go away!

STEVEN
SHUT UP!

RAYMOND
(off stage) Hey, what's goin' on, Steve?

STEVEN
Oh, nothin'. Just come in when you get here.

RAYMOND
(off stage) I'm here. I'm pulling up in front of your house.
See you in a minute.

STEVEN
Okay.

VOICE #3
Lock the door!

VOICE #1
Don't let him in!

VOICE #2
Shoot him!

RAYMOND
(enters stage, walks over to Steve, concerned)
Hey man... I know you're going through a tough time.
(sees the shotgun) but there's hope.

VOICE #1
He's lying!

VOICE #2
Liar, liar, liar!

VOICE #3
Push him away!

STEVEN
Hope? You mean that religious stuff you always shove in my face?

RAYMOND
No, not religion, Steve. We have hope and a friend.
We have a friend in Jesus--

STEVEN
A friend? (it dawns on him) I.. I need...I need a friend.
(crying) Thank you...

RAYMOND
(hugs Steven) It's okay, man.
(sings)
What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.
(Joseph M. Scriven, 1855)

STEVEN
I need a friend. (sniffles) I need Jesus. What do I do?

RAYMOND
Tell Him. (points upward)

STEVEN
I need You Jesus. I need hope-- (bows down, sobbing) I need You now.
I'm sorry, so sorry, Lord. Forgive me. Please...

RAYMOND
(comforts Steven) It's okay...it's okay.

STEVEN
(lifts his head) Hey, do you hear that?

RAYMOND
Hear what? I--

STEVEN
Hey --Wait-- there it is again--

CHRISTIAN VOICE #1
Lord, keep your hand upon Brother Steven. Keep him safe, Lord.
Send angels to protect him from the evil plans of the enemy.

RAYMOND
I hear it now---

STEVEN
No--wait--listen--there's another one--

CHRISTIAN VOICE #2
Father, I lift You up in Brother Steven's life right now--
draw him close to You, Lord. Have mercy, Lord.

RAYMOND
These are the prayers of saints--they're praying for you.

STEVEN
Why do they call me 'brother'?

RAYMOND
They're praying in faith--you are now part of the family of God!

CHRISTIAN VOICE #3
Oh, Precious Lord, send laborers into the harvest.
I can't be there, but please send someone to minister
to Brother Steven. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

STEVEN
That one sounded foreign!

RAYMOND
God's people are all over the world. He cares so much for you,
He's interceding through them for you.

STEVEN
I...I don't know what to say. I don't deserve this. I'm not worthy.

CHRISTIAN VOICE #1
Help my brother believe in You, Lord. Help him to see Your love.

RAYMOND
None of us are, Steve. We're all sinners.
We're all the same in God's eyes.

STEVEN
Oh...wow.. This is so awesome!

CHRISTIAN VOICE #2
Thank You Jesus for touching him.

RAYMOND
What happened?

CHRISTIAN VOICE #3
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord!

STEVEN
The other voices are gone. They were literally driving me crazy.
But, (starts to cry again) now, I feel....

RAYMOND
Peace?

STEVEN
Yes, that's it. I feel peace.

RAYMOND
Praise God! (walks over to the shotgun)
Okay, let's start by getting this out of here!
(grabs the shotgun)

STEVEN
Oh my.... I completely forgot about that.

RAYMOND
Come on, let’s go grab lunch.


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This article has been read 518 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 02/08/08
I can definitely see this being performed--I could just hear the voices.

Not sure how "on topic" this is, and the end fizzled just a tad for me.

The concept of the warring voices is exceptional--very well done.
Patty Wysong02/08/08
I saw this one, heard it, too. It might not be too strong on this particular topic, but it's still good. :-)
Leigh MacKelvey02/13/08
Oooh, I love a script! I can see the topic pretty clearly and it's a creative take on it. The MC was influenced by the voices he heard (company he kept). I liked the idea, the tile and most of the dialogue, but some of it sounded a bit stilted and maybe not too realistic. I think you could work on this and write a more realistic ending and it will be a great performance piece! I love a good script!
Maxx .02/13/08
I've read a few scripts in my day. They are always to the point and everything has to be communicated through the words and directive comments. This worked well for me. Good work!


   
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