The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/04/08
This reads like a news article:) You might want to spice it up by showing, not telling so much. I kind of liked the feel of it, though, more newspaperish. This was very interesting, certainly an original. Keep on writing!
Laury
02/05/08
Neat take on the topic. I like a caper. Fun title. I also liked the twists at the end and the back and forth between the two criminals. Like how you introduced Gunther. There was a nice contrast in tone between the introduction of the 2 MCs. (took me awhile to figure out why a Panther would be wearing shoes - maybe it was the "a" in front of Panther? Or maybe I have cats on the brain?) ;-)

Red ink for me would be leaving out the precise times/dates - which would be added for the novel or movie version of this story.

You should try a caper story again. You've definitely motivated me.
02/05/08
This must have been difficult to pack into 750 words. I thought I was reading the beginning of a novel, or short story. I like the caper angle to the topic as well.
02/05/08
Not preachy, good moral,action & suspense. This story has it all.
02/05/08
I like the irony of the chase and the way it ended. More show would really get this adventure humming! You sparked my interest and kept me wanting to read to the end.