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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)

TITLE: Attraction
By Kim Stairs


The love in my heart runs so deep for him, that I cannot breathe. Yet if his love for me was returned in the same manner, then why does my blood turn cold when he touches me?
Our hearts met years ago and quickly we fell in love. How fast does love turn into fear? I want him, yet I'm terrified of him. His hands can be so tender yet so harsh. When did his words turn to spite me? Maybe if I change he will get better.
I tried to put on less make up. I put on a little more. I did all the things he ordered me to do. I jumped at his every command. I love him so much, but why do I want to escape him? He reminds me of why I can't get away after every harsh hand bruises my skin.
I am no good, too fat, done too many wrongs in my life, and no one will ever want me or love me like he does. How quickly my love turns to hatred in the dark hours.
When we are apart, my heart aches to be with him. He's asked me to marry him. Look at this ring as it shines. Has he changed? Maybe this time it will be different. Yet others in my life constantly warn me to leave him. Do they see the bars of this prison. We love, we fight, we exchange harsh words, then we make up. And the cycle repeats. It has been terrible on this roller coaster of attraction to this man who stole my heart. When will this ride be over?
I am pulled to give my dreams, future, and life to a shining ring that draws me to it with each glance. Is this all my life is worth? A life of anger, shame, torture, and living on egg shells? When will he be happy? Will he come home drunk tonight with hurtful words? Do I bury my head tonight and let his hands strike unseen places?
My brain can rationalize why I should go, but my heart is not ready to leave. In this small ring I see a glimpse of what may be. Does this circular promise hold a treasure for me? Oh Lord if you are there please help me. I am so confused. Is this love real? Is this what I am worth. Help me Lord to take the right path. For I am afraid to leave, it is all I have ever known.
Can I have better than this plated gold holds?

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This article has been read 373 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marita Vandertogt02/02/08
The lure of the shiny gold ring that promises happiness..thankfully your MC is asking the right questions. Definitely makes the reader feel empathy toward the woman. Just a quick aside - paragraph breaks would lessen the intensity.
c clemons02/04/08
Good writing, sad commentary on why some women stay in "loveless" relationships. Love never hurts. Silver and Gold can never replace the love of Christ. Keep writing (and get help if this is true account).
Sara Harricharan 02/05/08
This gave me goosebumps. It is too true and too tragic, I so wish I could be there to support her and remind her that love truly never hurts. You portrayed this so convincingly! Next time, be sure to add a few extra spaces between paragraphs when submitting, it makes for easier reading. Otherwise, good job. ^_^
Kim Stairs02/05/08
Thank you for your comments. Could someone please tell me how to get the paragraph breaks? When I attach my articles from notebook to the website, this is how it converts every time with every piece I write. Thanks, Kim
Joanney Uthe02/06/08
Great job showing the conflicting emotions and the lowered self-esteem of someone in an abusive relationship. She will get out when it hurts more to stay in than to leave. Your line about the bruises showing her why she stays shows this quite well.

As far as the paragraph breaks, hit the return key twice instead of once when you change paragraphs. If it still shows like this in the preview screen, do it that way on the Challenge entry screen. Preview it until it looks the way you want it too.

Keep up the good writing.