The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
The lure of the shiny gold ring that promises happiness..thankfully your MC is asking the right questions. Definitely makes the reader feel empathy toward the woman. Just a quick aside - paragraph breaks would lessen the intensity.
Blessings!
02/04/08
Good writing, sad commentary on why some women stay in "loveless" relationships. Love never hurts. Silver and Gold can never replace the love of Christ. Keep writing (and get help if this is true account).
02/05/08
This gave me goosebumps. It is too true and too tragic, I so wish I could be there to support her and remind her that love truly never hurts. You portrayed this so convincingly! Next time, be sure to add a few extra spaces between paragraphs when submitting, it makes for easier reading. Otherwise, good job. ^_^
02/05/08
Thank you for your comments. Could someone please tell me how to get the paragraph breaks? When I attach my articles from notebook to the website, this is how it converts every time with every piece I write. Thanks, Kim
02/06/08
Great job showing the conflicting emotions and the lowered self-esteem of someone in an abusive relationship. She will get out when it hurts more to stay in than to leave. Your line about the bruises showing her why she stays shows this quite well.

As far as the paragraph breaks, hit the return key twice instead of once when you change paragraphs. If it still shows like this in the preview screen, do it that way on the Challenge entry screen. Preview it until it looks the way you want it too.

Keep up the good writing.