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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “Don’t Try to Walk before You Can Crawl” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/17/08)

TITLE: A Good Recipe
By Dorothy Purge
01/24/08


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A Good Recipe

"Have a seat Miss Campbell and welcome to Mid-Town Financial Bank. What can I do for you today?” inquired Mr. Pennycooke.

"I would like to…. ah…….. to borrow…. ah……some money from the bank Sir – a loan. I would like a loan,” Miss Campbell swallowed. “A loan to open a restaurant.”

"What do you know about business Miss? " questioned Mr. Brammer, leaning forward in his chair.

“Sir I was going to business school but I dropped out. I remember that a business should make a profit and the location should be right. Also, there should be a need for the business and I know that a restaurant is needed on Main Street. “

“Well said,” admitted Mr. Pennycooke, his yes bulging.
“But did you make a profit in the last business? And may I call you Gloria?”

“Gloria is fine Sir, everyone calls me Gloria. Well, about my last business; it failed because I was having another baby with no help.

“And how do you plan to manage now?”

“My mother keeps Shawn and David. If I get the five hundred dollars to start this restaurant I will help them.”

“Did you bring a business plan?”

“A business plan Sir? It’s all up here,” Gloria tapped her head. I have it all planned - up here.”

“Ha! Ha! Ha!” roared Mr. Brammer, throwing himself back in his chair. “It’s that easy huh?”

“Sir, I know that in my last business I almost lost the blouse on my back but this time it will be different. I will put God first and everything will be just fine.

“You seem to have a lot of faith Miss Campbell, much more than I do. But remember that the bank is not the same as your Pentecostal church. If, and I said ‘if ’ I decide to lend you the bank’s money, I expect to see you at the end of every month with your payment. If you cannot walk to get here, then please crawl Miss Campbell – craw!

“Yes Sir! Thank you. God bless.”

One week later

“Gloria’s Hot Pot” was opened to serve the business people on Main Street and the nearby school.

Gloria awoke at dawn every morning and prepared breakfast. There was a choice between delicious ackee and salt-fish with boiled dumplings and liver with sweet potato. Lunch was ready at eleven O’clock to meet the demands of the children.

At the end of the first week Gloria’ feet were sore from shopping, cooking, serving and keeping the restaurant spotless.. However she could not afford to hire anyone.

“I feel as if I am walking instead of crawling.”

One night as Gloria finished praying and climbed into bed she thought of the wonderful way in which her prayer life had grown.

“I remember the days when I did not know how to pray. I admired Sister Thomas. When she prayed it was as if the building was moving. Prayer has helped me to grow. It’s like saving small amounts of money in the bank. Then when I am ready I can draw it and do big things. I have an account at the bank and I also have an account with God – a prayer account. I am doing business with God too! Prayer has helped me to overcome several obstacles. I remember how I had to scrub floors to survive and now I can challenge a restaurant business?
I am sure if I manage it well it will grow into a big business. I will use the prayer recipe and I will be rich! rich! rich!”


Three weeks later.

“Come in Gloria. How are you?”

“I am well Mr. Pennycooke. Here is my first payment – fifty dollars.

“I know you can do it. You have your father’s blood.”

“It’s all about nurturing, Sir. I am making my small business grow the same way as my prayer life which has put me on a solid foundation.


Six months later

“Things are looking brighter Gloria, is it the same recipe?”

“Oh yes! Mr. Pennycooke. I have blended everything with prayer and by taking one step at a time have managed to triple sales and to employ someone. Here is the remainder of the bank’s money.”

On leaving the bank Gloria encountered Sammy, nick-named ‘parrot.’

“Hey Miss G. Do you need any help to wash your empty vessels?”

“I have no empty vessels,” came Gloria’s quick answer.

“And why is that?”

“ ‘Cause empty vessels make the most noise Sammy.”


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This article has been read 304 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 01/24/08
Good idea for the topic.

A few tweaks needed here and there--punctuation within dialogue stood out. I also was unclear on a few details--for example, $500 doesn't seem right for opening a restaurant, and the last few paragraphs with the "parrot" character were puzzling.

With those areas brushed up, this makes a good illustration of going about things the correct way. Thanks for writing this!
c clemons01/28/08
Needs a lot clarifying, two characters Mr. Pennycooke and Mr. Brammer where did they come from? You were sort of on topic but not very clear in that area either. Try having someone proofread before submitting. Keep writing.