Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: birthday (05/23/05)

TITLE: Uninvited Guests
By Daniele Moskal
05/24/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The bowlful of ripe summer fruits was put down on the table, but Veronica had not forgotten the birthday cake. The corn on the cob stood perfectly still, shining like a row of yellow diamond grenades in the Mediterranean sun waiting for a mature giant to attack their sweetness. Their dimpled, patted dry heads like sunny gems ordained the white china surfaces in the centre of the neat arranged food-laden table, would soon be travelling down a darkened tunneled cave, to rest in man's grave of eaten delicacies. Seemed a pity to eat them.
As Veronica and her invited guest sat down to eat their manna, a noise was heard, the sound of scratching from beneath the eaves. It was a peculiar sound, quite comical. Turning around, Veronica saw the black-headed gull crash land on the plate of cheese and biscuits. The large seabird, walked to and fro comically inspecting the new found delicacies. Its webbed feet shuffling along the table. Veronica offered him a whole corn-on-the cob, it was almost as weighty as he was.
"It's unbelievable!", thought Veronica.
It certainly was happening. The gull finished it in record time - only yellow scraps of peel remained out of a corner of his large beak. After a hard flight out to sea, it was pleasantly surprising for the seabird to taste so much different free food. His eyes fixed on more of the delicious corn, it was the strangest vegetable he had ever encountered: with the butter dripping off the glazed diamonds, the smell of a farmer's summer yield he tucked into more of Veronica's Italian cuisine delicacies.
Out of the skies, like squadrons of fighter pilots in perfect V formation, they descended, just in time for desserts, they perched on the balcony of Veronica's villa apartment. Mario had never seen any gull this close before; now there where another 10 of them standing so proud, with their eyes and large beaks tuned into the banquet table and the cake in the centre. Maybe it was the gull's buddies because they all in perfect unison zeroed in on the white marbled masterpiece, shining in all its glory.
"NO, Mario not the cake!", screamed Veronica. Too late. Nothing but crumbs and broken baked marzipan shrapnel lay everywhere. The last mouthfuls of Mario's surprise was slowly savoured, as the bright eyes of the sea-birds just looked on. Veronica and Mario looked at each other and just burst out laughing. The uninvited guests bemused by the sound, suddenly stopped eating. The free food had taking its toll. They had eaten so much their bodies had grown twice the size. Trying frantically to launch themselves into the Scicilian air, they slumped to the ground. Veronica picked up the silver-foiled plate where the proud cake had once stood and simply threw the rest of the left-over crumbs and pieces over the balcony to more awaiting birds.
"Your lovely birthday cake, our food all gone, Mario!", uttered Veronica as the last tasty morsel fell down among the cobbled stones below her apartment.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 727 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Michelle Burkhardt06/01/05
Your description is great,I could visualize the birds as fighter pilots. However, I did have a hard time following your story.
dub W06/04/05
Not a bad story at all; get rid of so many adverbs, breakup the layout of your story, keep character dialog and action seperate.