Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
My Account Login

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of ďA Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the BushĒ (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)

TITLE: Vanity Plate
By Noreen Ophoff


Roger Jacobac was a successful real estate agent in Lakeside, Michigan.
He listed the costly residential and commercial properties all over the urban and suburban areas. If a low-cost property came his way, he referred it to his cousin, JJ, who rented an office above a shoe store in an older section of town. Rogerís office was in the stunning blue high rise on the lake.

When the cityís large newspaper, The Herald, did a puff piece on Jacobac in 2003, a former client described him as ďshrewd, detailed, and a little arrogant.Ē The reporter, Simon Kent, pushed for more information, and was told, Jacobac was pushy, callous, and underhanded in the way he didnít want to deal with minority people. That information was omitted from the article, but the reporter decided to keep a watchful eye on the real estate mogul.

Mr. Jacobac, as his office staff was required to address him, drove a 2007 black SUV with a vanity license plate RDHG2U. His colleagues in the land game, kidded him about it, but knew it described him well Ė it translated to ROAD HOG TO YOU.

His Nemesis was an incident that occurred seventeen yearsí prior. His wife didnít even know about May 19, 1991, when his mint condition 1980 Pontiac Charger was sideswiped by a young black man, Carl Knight, hurrying to the hospital to see his newborn son. Roger was livid, hurling profanity and accusations at the twenty-year-old. Police arrived, asked questions, measured skid marks, took information, and they believed Mr. Knight, that the red car had drifted into his lane, crowding him next to a delivery truck so he had no choice but to bump into the car. Roger was given a ticket for operating a vehicle while impaired, because the officer could smell liquor on his breath.

On November 8, 2007, a sheriff deputy, walked into Rogerís plush office on the 12th floor of the building full of lawyers and accountants. He served Roger with a lawsuit from a tenant who described ceilings falling from rain damage from a bad roof, hordes of mice, and no smoke detectors, which are required by state law for landlords to provide. The flat was rented by a Hispanic family, Peter and Rosa Cisco, and their three children. A Court date was scheduled for Appearance.

Fuming with rage, Roger left his office, peeled out of the parking lot and headed down Division Street toward his favorite hangout, the darkened bar called Treaters. Driving along he thought about the side swipe and how he never did get even with that guy for claiming he pushed the little jerk over. He thought about the lawsuit for that property he had tried to unload so many times, but it needed expensive renovations just to bring it up to code. How could he get back at ďthose peopleĒ; people who were not as good as he. People who didnít have money, and didnít know how to make money.

Roger ran a red light because he didnít even see it. Horns honked, people yelled at him but he kept on going. Then he saw a black man walking on the sidewalk in the next block. His mania engulfed him. It didnít matter to him that it wasnít Carl Knight, and it wasnít Peter Cisco, it was someone on whom he could avenge his anger. He drove up on the sidewalk running the man down. Other pedestrians screamed and scattered into store doorways. Roger drove on, swerving sharply so the victim was thrown onto the curb and into the busy street. Roger drove straight home and into his garage, closing the door. Pouring himself scotch, he sat in the den watching an old western on TV.

An ambulance arrived to take the crumpled victim to a near hospital. He had grill marks on his chest and stomach from the impact, both legs were broken as well as four ribs and the manís jaw. His right eye was hanging out of the socket. He didnít know what had happened, but he was alive, and there were plenty of detail oriented witnesses.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 490 times
Member Comments
Member Date
K. J. Cash01/17/08
The character development in this story is brilliant. I sense that you have in your mind an elaborate backstory. I could see this becoming a book.
You have described a series of events in this story. I think you should use it as a blue print and translate the events you've described here into dialogue and action, and I think you'll have something spectacular.
Joanne Sher 01/18/08
Very vivid descriptions - and I agree that this could be the basis for a much longer work.
Keep writing.
Sally Hanan01/21/08
This is a lot of information in a few words. It is well written too. If you can take one piece of this and elaborate and have us live that part looking through either your MC's or another character's eyes, then we could feel and smell and see with them as we read. Take a look at this guy's work and you'll see what I mean. http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=10088 Keep up the good work!
Sara Harricharan 01/22/08
This is really good, I'm sort of left hanging, because I want to know what happens next here. You've done a good job with showing us this character and wanting us (as the reader) to want to read more to get to know him more and to see if he'll change at some time or another. Great job here! ^_^
Hanne Moon 01/22/08
You left me hanging at the end - I wanted to know what happened! Like others have said, you could use this to develop and even more in-depth story. Your MC is portrayed very well. Keep up the good work!