The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Loved this and so right on topic! Keep up the good words.
This was a good story and you should definitely keep writing. How sad for this woman to not listen to all the red flags the Lord put in front of her. Did catch some spelling and punctuation errors, but the story keeps your attention from beginning to end.
What a fabulous verse - can't believe I never noticed it before. I also love the structure of this, and the detail you give about Helen and her situation. This is somewhere many have been. Good example of the topic.
You have a good opening into this story. A suggestion to make the reader feel more involved with it would be to show us some feeling and emotion, e.g.instead of, In despair Helen called Joe, write, Helen read every number of the bank statement so many times that the digits started to blur. She picked up the phone, rubbing her temples with her free hand, and called Joe.

I like this story! Things in life can happen so suddenly, and the only person to blame