The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Very sad what bad choices can mean in life and what you will lose.
01/18/08
Clever - a great cautionary tale. Enjoyed this.
01/21/08
You picked a good title for this one. It would have been an easier read if you had the same number of lines in each stanza and the same number of syllables in each line. The other thing about rhyming is that one has to try and rhyme the words based on which syllable of the precious line is accented, so drawing would have to rhyme with boring etc.
01/22/08
I can't help calling this cute, it just seems so witty and neat. The flow didn't quite read as easily as the meaning of the story. Your message came across clear, but in places like the line with the ice-berg, it reads a little awkwardly? Just my thought-otherwise, good stuff! ^_^