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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: birthday (05/23/05)

TITLE: Todays Your Birthday
By Bill Whitworth
05/23/05


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Today's your Birthday, or Is it His when you come to Jesus, He's born in you so todays His Birthday too.
The rebirth of a child is dear it makes the Angels cheer, all of Heaven resounds with a wondrous sound, the devil's put down, Jesus Laughter resounds, it is clear.
The Father of Love bid you well for you have been stolen from Hell.
The devils's defeated the demon's have been cheated, from steal and killing that which God holds dear.
Congrats today if you say, Jesus come into My heart, from this day don't depart, your Birthday Starts right Here.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Debra Bowers06/01/05
The words and thoughts are poetic, but maybe in poem form it would flow better?
dub W06/03/05
I agree, this is a prose poem. Also, have a peer edit what you write, you might be surprised with the results.
Deborah Porter 06/06/05
Bill, this was a delightful little poem with some powerful truths in it. It does need to be set out in a more formal poetry style (to make it easier for us to read and catch the right rhythm and flow), but the other major problem with it was the size. Unfortunately, Challenge entries have to be over 150 words and under 750 words to be eligible. "Todays Your Birthday" came in at just 102 words, so was too far under the limit. I hope you'll enter again though. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)