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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)

TITLE: Amidst the Seas
By Javier Keefe
01/09/08


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A lively Sea Captain appeared to his crew. He was perched over them from on high, where he could more than just observe but also eerily feel the coming wind that he felt so deep in his bones in his very knuckles and in his soul. The voice from the bowels of the Captain’s growl determined, “Prepare the mast-- a-hoy, at last.”

The eldest, the wisest of the Captain’s crew, rang-out about the decks on queue. All the assembled listened to the intense man’s marvel and spitting plea. He spoke.

Heed these words, now cast these lines. For these winds my boys soon won’t blow as fast as they soon shall flow. Yes my men, but they will vanish with the east wind and they will pass alas. So make sail, yes keep hurrying those lines, good boy. We enter the seas grace; we pilfer the gold of wind with joy. We’ll glean this jewel that the sea spins and rules. Here we labor, not as fools. Come on men, don’t resist the call. To miss this moment, oh to be left behind, we’d be so blind. Prepare all you, your sails now. With these winds now, we will truly climb divine, and redeem the time.

The men had stopped their arduous sweating to lift up their eyes and look upon their achievement as the old wise sailor finished his decree. All eyes were filled with a child’s glee.

The stout Captain turned back and took full view at the swooping clouds, which would soon envelop, he and his crew. Before the gushing wind closed in the Captain’s sure hand aligned his heading with one quick spin.

The Captain faced his men once again. As he nodded all around to his obedient crew his eyes finally fell onto his faithful First-mate, his true friend. They paused to hold their stare for a moments grin. The wise old sailor then came to attention. He saluted his Captain in reply, as did all comply.

Instantly with a howling whoosh the vessel carried its crew as though with fluttering wings on through to their home, to their loved ones and to their friends. Their cheer then also commenced like that of the mighty rushing wind. Their travail would so soon be at its end.


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This article has been read 402 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Temple Miller01/10/08
Very unique piece. You've packed a lot of good metaphors in "old sea tar" language. I had to read it three times to grasp the brilliance of this work. I love it.
Jan Ackerson 01/11/08
Very appropriate allegory!

I stumbled over a few of your word choices, but I liked the salty flavor of this little story.
Jeanette Oestermyer 01/11/08
It meets the criteria, and I felt it was well written. Perhaps it could have been a little more accessible as to meaning. Janice85
Sara Harricharan 01/16/08
My only word for this is...beautiful. For some reason as I'm reading it, that's the only thing that comes to mind! This is well written and a good story within a story. I liked the way you showed how the crew trusted the Captain and First mate too. Great writing! ^_^
Joanne Sher 01/18/08
Congratulations, Javier, on placing 10th in level 2 with this entry. Great job!