The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
12/07/07
This is very urban-feeling; I suspect that it's a rap...am I right? It fits well with that genre. So, as an old fuddy, I'll admit that much of this flew over my head, although it certainly had the rhythm and feel of rap.

I'm just not sure what it had to do with "home groups." Be careful of spelling: "their" instead of "there", and "shelf" instead of "shelve."

You sustained your metaphor throughout--good job with that!
12/08/07
I also had a bit of trouble following this - but you had some very neat images here. Keep writing!