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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)

TITLE: Two Boys - Two Lives
By LaNaye Perkins
10/28/07


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Jimmy squirms restlessly in his seat while Miss Grundy reads the Sunday School lesson. A deep frown is etched on his face, and his eyes are spitting anger at everyone in the room. He wanted to go to the park and play ball with his buddies. “It’s not fair!” he mumbles. “All my friends get to go play this morning, and I’m stuck in this stupid Sunday School class!”. He keeps kicking the little desk in front of him as he fumes about having to sit in class to hear those silly stories. Even his parents said they were nothing but a bunch of fairy tales. If it wasn’t for his mean grandma he wouldn’t be here right now. His anger instantly shifts to her for making him come.

Logan is captivated by the story Miss Grundy is telling. In his mind he clearly sees the story she is telling. It is about Jesus and how he saves anyone that calls upon His name and believes in Him. Logan loves Jesus and has recently gotten saved. He doesn’t understand why Jimmy is so bored with hearing these stories. Both boys are in the same third grade class at school. Jimmy often makes fun of him by calling him a sissy Christian boy in front of all the other kids. Logan doesn’t like how mean Jimmy is, but he feels sorry for him. He’s heard his parents talk about how bad it is at Jimmy’s house, and they often lift his family up in prayers.

****

The years pass and Jimmy grows up to be the school bully. His meanness is often directed toward Logan. Sometimes he just says rude and hateful things, but there are times he gets physical. He’s known Logan since they went to Sunday school together and has always tried to get him to lose his cool. He delights in tormenting him and is determined to get him to retaliate, but he never does, which makes Jimmy furious.

Logan tries to hate Jimmy for all the hateful things he does, but it’s just not in his heart to stay mad. Somehow mercy and forgiveness always replace the anger and hate. Logan doesn’t understand it, but knows it is what Jesus would have him do. So he continues to pray for Jimmy.

****

More time passes and Logan is married with two children. He and his wife are strong Christians and youth leaders in their Church. He’s gone to college and works for a prominent marketing firm. His position doesn’t affect his personality though. He’s still kind and merciful with a big heart for others.

When Jimmy graduates from school, he is in jail within two months for severely beating a man in a drunken brawl. After he’s released he gets a job at the local gas station. He is still a rebellious angry man who handles life’s problems with his fists.

****

Late one night, a group of boys drive up to the gas station. While one boy stands watch, the others go inside to rob the place. When they leave, Jimmy has multiple stab wounds and is badly beaten.

Lying on the floor of the gas station, Jimmy is fighting to stay alive. His mind keeps going back to the Sunday school class so many years ago. Miss Grundy is talking about Jesus and how everyone who believes in Him are saved. All the violence of his life flashes through his mind and remorse fills his heart. Shame floods through him for all the wrong he‘s done.

“Jesus if you are real and you really love me like the Bible says, send someone to show me how to turn my life around. Save me if it‘s not too late!”

At that moment across town, Logan is lifting Jimmy up in prayer.

Before losing consciousness Jimmy hears Miss Grundy’s voice again.

“…everyone who believes in Jesus and asks for forgiveness will be saved.”

****

Jimmy struggles repeatedly to wake up, but can‘t quite make it. He hears distant voices before unconsciousness takes him again.

“Will he pull through Doctor?“
“I don’t know, it’s just too soon to tell.“


A man is praying. Jimmy opens his eyes to see who it is, and the tears fall down his face. With barely a whisper he says: “Thank you Jesus.

With compassion Logan smiles as he clasps Jimmy’s outstretched hand.


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This article has been read 819 times
Member Comments
Member Date
LauraLee Shaw11/01/07
I can't tell you how many times I have remembered a particular phrase or teaching from my childhood Sunday School right when I needed it. You did a great job of capturing that perspective.
Joanne Sher 11/02/07
Wonderful ending. I enjoyed these character studies. A bit more description, especially in the beginning, might strengthen this a bit.
Laury Hubrich 11/02/07
Great job comparing & contrasting the two boys. I'd be interested in knowing if this is a "legal" way to do it -- two POV at the same time? Your writing shows just how important Sunday School can be to our lives!
Laury
Jan Ackerson 11/04/07
Great job! Very creative and moving.

I think, in the third segment, you should still begin with Jimmy, to keep it consistent with the first two.

This is a really strong entry.
Betty Castleberry11/04/07
Powerful message, solid ending. You cover a lot of emotion and time in a few words. Well done.
Kristen Hester 11/04/07
Very strong story and excellent writing. It was interesting to watch the two boys as their lives are so different. Great job.
Joy Faire Stewart11/05/07
Very interesting writing on topic and the message is very strong. Excellent contrasting of the two MC's.
Patty Wysong11/07/07
It was interresting watching these boys grow into men--I thought the way you handled it was good and very clear. Good job! Hugs!!
Verna Cole Mitchell 11/07/07
You've used contrast excellently here, along with showing the value of words heard in Sunday School that linger in the heart long years later.
Pam Carlson-Hetland11/07/07
I really enjoyed reading this. Creative use of contrasting the two lives and following them through to adulthood. Very well done!
Loren T. Lowery 11/07/07
I agree with the other comments, you covered a lot of territory to present a very promising message. I liked the way you contrasted the two lives and especially how you were able to present their inner turmoils so authentically.
Sheri Gordon11/07/07
Oh wow -- what an interesting way to tackle this topic. And with a strong message, too. Nice job on taking the reader through the years. And very touching ending. Well done.
Peter Stone11/07/07
I enjoyed the way you contrasted the two lives against each other, and brought them together again at the end.
Sara Harricharan 11/08/07
This story has me reaching for a tissue. What a contrast between your two Characters. Logan reminds us of how we should respond, even when things aren't going the way we 'feel' they should. I'm glad it worked out in the end after all. Great writing! ^_^
Jan Ackerson 02/27/08
LaNaye, I've been looking through past entries for pieces to feature for the Front Page showcase, and I came upon this little gem again. I'm going to feature it for the week of March 3. Look for it on the FaithWriters home page!
Joanne Sher 03/03/08
Loved this the first time - still do. Congrats on your front page showcase! Wonderful, my friend.
Hanne Moon 03/03/08
Congrats on the front page showcase! I know what a blessing and encouragement it must be for you! This is such a good piece, and clearly shows how training up our children is so vitally important.
Debbie Wistrom03/03/08
I love the show case and so glad this was here. I enjoyed this heart felt story very much.
Seema Bagai 03/04/08
Congrats on the front page feature. I like this story and the parallels and contrasts between the two characters.
LauraLee Shaw03/05/08
SO glad to see this showcased! Loved it all over again...
Beth LaBuff 03/05/08
I really love this story and the way your written it. Congrats on the the FW Frontpage Showcase writer for this week!
pam Leitermann03/06/08
What a great story well done I felt like I was right there watching everything!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge 03/07/08
Congrats on the Showcase! Good job.
Lyn Churchyard03/10/08
Great story Naye, showing the growth of the boys from childhood to adulthood and how Logan realises his love and forgivess comes from the Lord.
Congratulations on the showcase!


   
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