The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/25/07
You did an AMAZING job of setting the scene and putting us right in the middle of it. You painted a portrait (and a wonderful one at that) with your words. Love the ending too. A very enjoyable read.
10/25/07
I definitely felts as if I was right there on the scene--well done!

There's perhaps a bit too much introductory material here; we're over halfway through before we get to the baptism. And it would help, too, if you established your own identity earlier--I thought you were an observer, then I thought you were the girl's mother before we finally learn that you're the dad.

The atmosphere is definitely just right! All in all, a well-written entry.
10/27/07
Beautiful descriptions in this piece. I agree with Jan's comments.
10/27/07
Great story. I could see everything, smell it and feel the sun on my cheeks. And the special "twist" toward the end was delightful.
10/29/07
I have heard about this kind of baptism at a lake but have never experienced one. Your telling of this experience actually transported me there. Don't know why I thought it was the mother telling the story but how much better that it was the father. Being baptised by her earthly father in the presence of her heavenly father, can't get any better than that. Good job.
10/29/07
What a dream! It makes me want to go back and do my baptism over. Beautiful, heart-tugging & warming story. Nicely done.