The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/25/07
Love how you wove the dunk tank through - especially in the last sentence. Wonderful job of characterization - especially on Trena. Good descriptions.
I loved the realistic conversation between siblings.
10/25/07
Great title, nice job with the teen dialogue.

The ending was just a tad predicatable--is there a way you could give it just one more twist?

A very sweet story.
10/27/07
Great story with realistic dialogue. I could see this appealing to teens.
I loved this story! You really got a lot into your alotted 750 words. Your style is great and easy to read.

The way that you approached the theme was enjoyable.

Also, great title. It created anticipation.

Keep on writing.
10/29/07
I wouldn't change this story at all. It is perfect as is. Very tender. Extremely heart-felt. And the ending made me teary-eyed. I still have non-believing family members, so maybe it is the hurt in my heart for them that makes me wish I could borrow this ending for them.
11/01/07
Congratulations on this piece! Great story!
Laury