The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I liked your last line the best. It drove your message home.
05/17/05
Good wording and imagery. Would be much easier to read if it was written in line form rather than sentence form.
05/19/05
I thought this piece had a poetic ring to it and could possibly have made greater impact as a poem. Don't be shy; try writing in poetry form and see what will emerge.