The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/21/07
A nice story. I was thrown off though from the start.

...while an ironic sun cast her dense, black shadow on the wood deck. Day had come, but it brought neither warmth nor light.

You say the sun cast a shadow and then say there was no light in the very next sentence.

Perhaps you need to make things clearer... what is "an ironic sun?"
09/23/07
There seems to be a really good story here, but I agree with the previous comments -- the story seems to get lost in the flowery words. I would like to see this developed more, so I could really understand the plight of the MC. Keep writing -- you have a good story to get out.
You have some wonderful descriptions here, and beautiful imagery as well. I enjoyed this very much.