I won’t eat embroidery floss any more. But I’ve got to say, in my defense, that I was really tempted by all those beautiful colors, dangling enticingly. And honestly, how was I to know that major kitty surgery would be the result?
My youngest daughter:
I will remember to tell you that I need two dozen decorated cupcakes BEFORE 8:45 on the morning of the 3rd grade Autumn Festival…and the Valentine’s Day party…oh, and the PTA bake sale, too.
I promise to eliminate unnecessary uses of the word “like” from my vocabulary. I understand how annoying it is for every sentence to be punctuated several times with “like.” So I’ll, like, try really hard to, like, come up with, like, another way to, like, express myself.
Wool sweaters do not go in the wash. Wool sweaters do NOT go in the wash. Wool sweaters DO NOT GO IN THE WASH. Okay, I think I’ve got it now. But tell me again—how do I know if it’s wool?
Last year, I resolved to lose fifty pounds, to practice piano for half an hour a day, and to learn to crochet. I lost five pounds—but I found them again. The piano bench is cluttered with magazines and newspapers, and the crochet needles and yarn never made it out of the bag from the craft shop. So—this year, I resolve to eat more chocolate, to postpone one household chore per day, and to play with Bad Kitty whenever possible.
We resolve to ban forever the singing of “Kum By Yah” and “Do Lord.” In addition, any potluck dish made with green jell-o and marshmallows will not be allowed past the doors of the fellowship hall. Finally, we resolve to set aside petty complaints about the loudness of the praise band, proper Sunday attire, and the color of the sanctuary carpet. Instead, we will regard the worship service as our opportunity to voice our public and united adoration of God. We will give Him a peaceful and beautiful place where He may inhabit the praises of His people.
I’ll be glad to help you all with any of those resolutions; just let Me know if you need Me. I especially like that worship one—I’m looking forward to making My temple in a church without all that childish squabbling.
And Kitty—I’ll say this in a way that you can understand. No! Bad kitty! No!
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