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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: New Year (05/09/05)

TITLE: New Year's Resolutions I'd LIKE To See
By Jan Ackerson
05/09/05


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My cat:

I won’t eat embroidery floss any more. But I’ve got to say, in my defense, that I was really tempted by all those beautiful colors, dangling enticingly. And honestly, how was I to know that major kitty surgery would be the result?

My youngest daughter:

I will remember to tell you that I need two dozen decorated cupcakes BEFORE 8:45 on the morning of the 3rd grade Autumn Festival…and the Valentine’s Day party…oh, and the PTA bake sale, too.

My teenager:

I promise to eliminate unnecessary uses of the word “like” from my vocabulary. I understand how annoying it is for every sentence to be punctuated several times with “like.” So I’ll, like, try really hard to, like, come up with, like, another way to, like, express myself.

My husband:

Wool sweaters do not go in the wash. Wool sweaters do NOT go in the wash. Wool sweaters DO NOT GO IN THE WASH. Okay, I think I’ve got it now. But tell me again—how do I know if it’s wool?

Myself:

Last year, I resolved to lose fifty pounds, to practice piano for half an hour a day, and to learn to crochet. I lost five pounds—but I found them again. The piano bench is cluttered with magazines and newspapers, and the crochet needles and yarn never made it out of the bag from the craft shop. So—this year, I resolve to eat more chocolate, to postpone one household chore per day, and to play with Bad Kitty whenever possible.

The church:

We resolve to ban forever the singing of “Kum By Yah” and “Do Lord.” In addition, any potluck dish made with green jell-o and marshmallows will not be allowed past the doors of the fellowship hall. Finally, we resolve to set aside petty complaints about the loudness of the praise band, proper Sunday attire, and the color of the sanctuary carpet. Instead, we will regard the worship service as our opportunity to voice our public and united adoration of God. We will give Him a peaceful and beautiful place where He may inhabit the praises of His people.

God:

I’ll be glad to help you all with any of those resolutions; just let Me know if you need Me. I especially like that worship one—I’m looking forward to making My temple in a church without all that childish squabbling.

And Kitty—I’ll say this in a way that you can understand. No! Bad kitty! No!


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This article has been read 1341 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Corinne Smelker 05/16/05
Funny stuff - i giggled all the way through - I especially like your new resolutions!
Leticia Caroccio05/17/05
Funny, funny stuff. I laughed from beginning to end. I loved your kitty's resolutions, maybe he can help my two kitties with theirs. Your teen sounds like my teen. Your ending was perfect. God is always willing to help us in every aspect of our walk with Him. I loved your style. Wonderfully done.
Sally Hanan05/17/05
Very enjoyable read, and you succeeded in thinking of a different way to write about New Year.
Phyllis Inniss 05/19/05
Only God can help us with our resolutions, if we would only ask Interesting the way you put your points of view across.
Joyce Simoneaux05/21/05
This was very enjoyable! Loved the last line.
Jacquelyn Horne09/16/07
What wonderful resolution ideas.