The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/02/07
You are very good descriptive writer. A couple of things that did not flow, or something like that. There were a couple of typos, but overall a good descriptive story of a certain aspect of austism. Would be interesting to hear what happens after/during the visit after witnessing Jesus to them.
09/02/07
Sorry, my comment was left off about the flow, the part about the child triying to crawl on the housekeeper..
I never realized that the sound of thunder could do that to the autistic. It got me wanting to read on. Thanks. chris x
09/03/07
I almost stopped reading after the comma splice in the first sentence, but I am glad I continued. Good suspense and story line, and outstanding description. I didn't even mind the present tense. A few typos and minor errors along the way. Probably the weakest part was the insertion of second person in the final paragraphs. Pretty good technique overall.
09/07/07
Congratulations, Angeline. Your entry has placed 15th in Level 2. The Lists for the Top 15 in each Level and the Top 40 overall is available in the Weekly Results and Highest Rankings forum of our Faithwriters Message Boards