The Official Writing Challenge
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What a powerful message you wove into this piece. Great writing!
I was just wandering AND wondering through this story right along with your MC, confused and dazed as she. But the twist at the end brought everything into focus, and I realized what a good writer you are! I was absorbed in this story from beginning to end.
WOW what an excellent writer you certainly had me wondering where the story line was taking me.
Outstanding use of topic as well as a valuable lesson. Your descriptions are vivid and as I read I found my heart racing: I HAD to read that story. Congratulations!
You had me properly confused until the last line clarified all! Well done.
An all-true story too many times, I fear. You told it well.
I thought this was an abstract fantasy when I first started reading, thinking you were painting surrealist word images. Then the dialogue between the hospital staff made me pay closer attention, drawing me on to a powerful but tragic conclusion. Well done!
You may want to work on the paragraph spacing and editing a bit more, but hey, you got what it takes.
You are very talented. I felt like I was right there with your MC, as confused as she was. Your last line is simple, but AMAZINGLY powerful.