The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 659 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This writing is very good, but I can't seem to find the story pov here. I see the dilemma but no solution. However, this is well worded and the writing is upscale.
I am confused and in my logic that tells me you proved your point. Our subject was"confused and you presented a story that left me confused as to whether he saved the article, found his care and was able to help the lady. Did he give up his job at the church to be a chaplin at the hospital?

Keep writing, I think you succeeded on this challenge
08/26/07
Great story line. Well written. However, I don't think it addressed the topic. I think at the end he experienced confusion, but it is alluded to at best. It doesn't really show in the rest of the story.
08/29/07
Very engaging, Patrick. It may just be me, but I found the writing somewhat choppy, especially in the first few paragraphs. All your sentences seemed quite short, and it distracted me. I never really felt like it was flowing, if you know what I mean. It felt quite realistic, and your descriptions were very sharp.
08/29/07
I want more! I want more! You pulled me in with the great writing and story line and then you left me hangin' out to dry! Good flow in your writing as as I see it, just wish there was more, although you did leave me confused and this was the goal off this subject matter.
08/29/07
I feel like three or four very interesting story threads have been introduced, but I can't seem to come to any conclusions about them. (I guess I'm a lazy reader, and usually in too much of a hurry to stop and dwell on things for long!)

It's an interesting style you have going in this entry, but I'm kinda wimpy when it comes to reading; I want the author to tie up all the loose ends FOR me! (I'm too much from the TV generation, I guess. Sigh.)

The writing is good, as is usual for you, and the character is intriguing. I did want to read more about him. I especially liked it when he came out into the parking lot, but then...ugghh!...what?!...tell me!... tell me what happened next!...(which is your point, right?)
Well, if the intent of this article was to show how God's plan for our lives is a bit confusing then I think you hit the targe dead on.

We do plan, but God directs; and what else can we do but move on trusting in His faithfullness.

You definitely have a talent for writing...keep it up!