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I watch the video again. There she is, grotesquely overweight. She could easily stand to lose eighty pounds. Her eyes carry the telltale signs of health in decline. No longer sparkling with energy and life, the dark circles portray the strain from carrying around her massive bulk. She sickens me. How could anyone let themselves get in such a shape as she did? She doesn’t even walk normal any longer. Her movement is more of a waddle than a stride. The merest exertion leaves her gasping for breath and covered with sweat. It rolls down her face and drips in a steady stream from her chin.
I remember her back when she was lean. Her eyes sparkled with life and just a hint of mischief. Laughter was always escaping her lips. She would take off and walk for hours or ride her bike around the circumference of the town, just because she wanted the exercise. Working hard made her feel good inside. Enthusiasm for life and living it to the fullest bubbled out of her and infected everyone she touched. She was so alive, back then.
Now, her body strains to complete the easiest of tasks. She hurts all the time from the injury her body is suffering from carrying all that extra weight around. Why did she do this to herself? I’m so angry at her that I choke with bile at the thought of even seeing her. How could she allow this to happen?
With disgust I push away from the computer screen that is playing the video. I can’t stand to see that horrid woman another moment. I am sickened by the very sight of her. I head to the back of the house to watch the television and see what is on. I’d do anything right now just to get away from the sight of her.
To my disgust, I meet her in the hallway. Her eyes show me the reflection of her anger. I can’t bear that stare, what I see in her eyes. I can’t stand up under its oppressive weight any longer, so I turn my face away from the mirror.
I know I do not possess the power to forgive this woman, and only God can free me from this anger. He is the only one powerful enough to loose me from the bondage of this kind of hatred. Therefore, I will seek Him for my deliverance and I will beg Him to show me how to love this woman that I hate.
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