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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Angry (08/02/07)

TITLE: Driving Me Crazy
By valerie chambers
08/03/07


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“Driving Me Crazy”

“You make me so angry”, I yelled. Fred reacted typically. Staunch, unmovable, stubborn. We were on this trip to discuss the issues I had with his indifference toward me. Now we sat in the blazing heat staring at one another. He was seething below the surface. I was furious. I wondered what brought us to this place as I allowed my mind to travel back to our first encounter. Fred was not handsome but he had big eyes that sparkled when you looked deep into them. It was obvious from his patched garments that he did not come from wealth. In spite of his appearance, I liked him. I guess you could describe him as hard on the outside and soft in the middle. My friends were less than impressed. “You never get the whole package” they chortled. Ignoring their comments, I decided to give Fred a chance. I suppose I saw something in him that others did not see. He was dependable (in the beginning), self sacrificing and committed to meeting my every need. I liked that about him. He would wear himself out trying to make me happy. He was always there for me. His coughing brought me back to the present. “Talk to me Fred” I pleaded. Choking, he held back tears. Because this response was the normal one from him, I remained unsympathetic. I rattled off a dialogue finishing with
“When you were sick, I was the one who stayed up with you. I am the one who waited for hours while the Doctors examined you. I paid a fortune for your medication and this is the response I get!’ Finally I beat him on the chest and screamed
“You are driving me crazy!” as I turned the key in the ignition hoping Fred would start just one more time.


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This article has been read 462 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/09/07
Well, I should have seen that coming, given the title, but I didn't--you "got" me! Well done!
Lynda Schultz 08/10/07
Me too — I didn't see it coming — in fact, I was almost going to ask you where the middle of story went (you know, the part when Fred and our MC exchange verbal blows, and she tosses him out of the car and drives off). Fooled me! Great story. Love the characterization of the car.
Paul Potenza08/11/07
That's a GREAT story.

Break it up into paragraphs and you've got a HIT.

How did you ever think of it? I'm impressed.

Pauly
Marilyn Schnepp 08/12/07
Terrific! Absolutely The Most I Loved it, written well, and a fantastic surprise ending. (One thing I suggest - Break it down to paragraphs, spacing, etc. to make it more reader friendly) Great Job! I repeat.. Terrific.
Seema Bagai 08/16/07
Clever piece. The others gave some good suggestions for polishing this story.
Joanne Sher 08/17/07
Congratulations, Valerie. Your entry has placed 7th in Level 2. The Lists for the Top 15 in each Level and the Top 40 overall are available in the Weekly Results and Highest Rankings forum of our Faithwriters Message Boards.
Dee Yoder 08/21/07
Very clever! I had a friend who named all of his possessions "Fred". He'd love this story.