The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 569 times
Member Comments
the subject is compelling and the plot of it works, but something in the form made this piece not flow as well as I think it wants to. you covered the theme well, and I like how you use the same repetitive line to sink the point in, but it felt like it was over too quick. I enjoyed it- I just think it wanted to be a little more (the piece). Hope that makes sense. Meant to be a critique but not critical?
This has to be read twice in order to get the full impact. After the first read the reader is a bit confused - but after another read, the story is clear as a bell. Very creative way of telling a sad story...that happens much too often. Very well done, discreet but obvious, and goes around full circle, from the mistake to the sad ending. I liked it..."It tells it like it is." Nicely done! Kudos!
Nice job of telling a sad truth about mistakes and what they can lead to. Well done!