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Does he have any idea how far I’ve traveled to see him? I’ve left important business unattended, my wife to sleep alone in a cold bed, and my house to be run by mere servants. All this to come all the way here and have Him tell me I can not possibly attain the one thing I still lack!
He must be wrong. There’s no other explanation. After all, he is uneducated and unofficial. How foolish of me to believe he had the answers. Surely eternal life is not made possible solely by forsaking all material possessions! Is it not written that Abraham was a man of great wealth? And what about Kings David and Solomon? Surely they have found a home with our fathers.
Perhaps his words allude to something else. I have heard that he often speaks in baffling prose – the true meanings of which are both deep and mysterious. But, he looked upon me with such love – embraced my hand with such tender compassion… It is hard to fathom wrong motives on his part. Surely he wants to see me happy. Surely he wishes to make my joy complete by rewarding years of temple sacrifices and strict adherence to the Law. If he is who they say, then he must know how closely I have kept the commandments of our father, Moses. Though a man of flesh and bone, I dare say he would be hard-pressed to find another as righteous as I.
To give up my possessions would be to give up my life! My wealth has accumulated not by mere luck or good fortune, but through years of hard work. I have persevered physical labor and cunningly invested all my earnings. To hand such hard-earned wealth over to the sluggard poor, the beggars who wallow in filth, the lame whose condition itself is the result of justice for his unrighteousness – it’s just too much to ask!
But now, while I am still young, I will devise another way. I will apply my educated mind and even hire my own priests and scribes to devise an adequate formula on my behalf. Business is key. Importance, prosperity, and intelligence. Yet, I would give anything to distract from the unbearable sadness that now shadows my heart. And anything to keep all that I have and love. There must be another way.
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