The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
07/26/07
Every time I read or hear a story about children "speaking out" like this, I'm reminded of what Andy said to Opy on an episode of the Andy Griffith Show: "And to think I was happy when you learned to talk!". LOL! Funny and definitely embarrassing-poor Mother!
This was deja vu all over again! The classic berra-ism is so-o-o-o-o applicable when it comes to parenting big mouths. I had a good one but couldn't repeat it in polite company of FW friends. Really enjoyed your story~
07/29/07
T he story is solid, the ending, of course, was the whole story. You might consider a challenge buddy or editor to help clean up some of the punctuation and grammar errors. Otherwise this is a solid essay.
07/31/07
This was a good story -- well written, and perfect for the topic.

I noticed a few typos and wrong word selection -- but easy enough to clean up.

Your first sentence had me drawn into the story, and you kept me reading. Nice job.
08/02/07
Cute story - but need a double check or edit before entering it as a few little quirks take away from the piece. "possession of the house" was one- but overall a funny "what kids will say" type story that was enjoyable to read. Thanks for sharing.