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Have you ever woke up in the morning feeling like an unmade bed? Well, if you have all I can say is “Welcome to my world!” Follow me as I take you through my delightful day, and yes I do say this with much sarcasm.
It all started when I got up and headed to the bathroom. You ladies all know why it is we have to go as soon as our feet touch the floor in the mornings. It’s just a law of nature, I gave up trying to figure it out years ago.
So anyway, back to my day. I roll out of bed take a step and fall flat on my face (It would seem my over 40 and closing on 50 body wasn’t awake enough to realize I was tangled in the bed sheet). To which my dearest husband only snorted, looked around, rolled over and continued to snore.
After wrestling the vile sheet I do manage to get my business taken care of. At which time my taste buds are demanding the all important cup of morning coffee. Mind you, it’s not just any coffee. It is the masterful blend of coffee that is strong enough to stand up on its own accord, and then dare you to drink it! A challenge I take head on each morning.
It takes about 30 minutes for my toxic caffeine concoction to jolt through my veins and revive my lifeless body into action. So, I stumble from the chair and head off to get ready for my appointment with the dentist.
When I pull into the parking lot with my full sized ¾ ton truck I try to maneuver the hulking beast into a parking slot that was obviously designed for some tiny foreign job. After several attempts and nearly side swiping a little BMW I give up and leave it cockeyed in a space. Lord only knows how I managed to get it safely backed out later on.
Inside the Dentist’s office I sign in at the front desk and ask to use the restroom (what can I say…. It was the coffee!). After finishing I decide to tidy up a bit and brush my hair, wash my hands, check my teeth, all the usual things a gal does in the ladies room. Except check her backside, which I woefully regretted later.
Then I leave the ladies room and head for the waiting area. After a short wait I get my dental work done and leave. Next on my list is to head to Wal-Mart for a few items, gas up my truck, and then go home.
It’s only after passing the mirror by the front door of my home that I catch a glimpse of something awry. For you see, I have about a foot of toilet paper hanging out of the back of my jeans. A remnant of my visit to the ladies room at the dentists office 3 hours earlier. And all this time I thought the looks were because my hair was exceptionally shiny and styled so nicely today!
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