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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Embarrassed (07/19/07)

TITLE: The Wedding Disaster
By Esther Gellert
07/23/07


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Kathie Davis hunched down in her seat, peeking over the dashboard of her beaten up old VW beetle. The guests arriving at the wedding were dressed in an assortment of designer clothing. She recognized several local celebrities.

Kathie had been dreading this day for eighteen months, ever since that dreadful announcement had appeared on the front of the local newspaper.

“Sophia Montmorency to wed local computer genius”.

Kathie couldn't believe it at first. Daniel Harwick, her Daniel, would never even take a second look at a girl like Sophia Montmorency, sole heir to the Montmorency fortune.

Kathie had loved Daniel for as long as she could remember. She closed her eyes remembering the day the two of them, as ten year olds, promised to stick together forever. That promise had been kept for fifteen years. Daniel had been there to support her through the difficult times after the tragic death of her father in a road accident, and she had encouraged Daniel each step of the way as he started up his own internet business. Three years ago Daniel had taken on a new business partner with a surprisingly similar name to himself, Daniel Harwood. As the business took off, the two Daniels quickly became millionaires and, when Kathie moved away with her job, she felt as though the new business partner pushed her out of Daniel’s life.

Kathie punched the steering wheel as she realised that if she didn’t act now, she would lose her last chance to live the life she’d always dreamed of with the man she’d always loved. She glared at the limousine from which the bridal party were beginning to appear. The tall, stately figure of Sophia was the last to emerge. She was dressed in a stunning ivory gown, beaded all over with tiny pearls. Her blonde hair, also beaded with pearls, was braided, curled and piled on top of her head in an elaborate style.

Kathie rubbed her eyes fiercely as the bride and her father disappeared through the church doors. Suddenly, with a jarringly physical sensation, Kathie felt something snap inside her.

“I will NOT give up so easily,” she shrieked silently as she slammed the car door behind her. Wiping sweaty hands on the leg of her jeans, she climbed the steps of St Andrews Cathedral and heaved on the heavy entrance doors that had been closed after the bride entered. Creeping inside, she hid for a moment behind an elaborately carved pillar.

“I must not look at him, I must not look at him.” Kathie stepped out and strode down the aisle with a confidence she did not feel. Refusing to look at the groom, she marched to the front and, as Sophia turned to see what the guests were murmuring about, Kathie raised her hand and slapped Sophia’s cheek.

“You little hussy.” Kathie raised her voice to ensure all the guests could hear what she said next. “I found out about your father’s fortune, or lack of it. He gambled it all away, didn’t he? You’ve known for months, haven’t you? I guess you just couldn’t stand the thought of being poor, huh? So… What did you do? You decided to marry the richest man in town. I’ll have you know that you may have tricked him for now, but he’s not stupid. He’ll soon see you for what you really are. You’re a conniving, money-hungry, nasty little woman. Oh, Daniel,” Kathie still couldn’t bring herself to look at him, “how could you ever believe this is the woman for you. Don’t you remember our promise? Daniel, I love you.”

With the last words, Kathie raised her eyes to the groom’s face, only to realise with horror that it was not her Daniel, but his business partner. Her Daniel was standing in the best man’s position and frowning at her over the other Daniel’s shoulder.

“Oh…” Kathie raised a trembling hand to her burning cheek. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She managed to stumble out of the church before the tears of shame overflowed.


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This article has been read 455 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 07/27/07
I couldn't imagine any worse incident at a wedding! But this would make a good start for a romantic story, if you wanted to expand it. :)
Janice Cartwright07/30/07
You did a good job of bringing the reader into the church scene. I foresaw what was coming with the name confusion and wanted to drag your poor MC out of the church before she could go through with her plan.
Kristen Hester07/31/07
Ouch! I was embarrassed for the bride, the MC, the groom...everyone. This is a good writing. You nailed the topic.
Patty Wysong07/31/07
Oh! I wanted to crawl into a cave for her!! How horrible! You did an EXCELLENT job conveying her feelings and the feel of it. Wonderful!! :-) hugs!!
Catrina Bradley 07/31/07
At first I was shocked and embarrassed for her at what she said the the bride, then when she looked at the groom, ugh! Very well told, lots of feeling - I enjoyed it!
Jan Ackerson 07/31/07
Yikes! I was embarrassed just reading this, so you really nailed it!
Joanne Sher 08/01/07
Your portrayal of her emotions was PERFECT - you definitely nailed it! I did not in ANY way see the ending coming. Great job!
Sheri Gordon08/01/07
I enjoyed reading this -- and wanted to yell "stop" as Kathie was having her tirade. I was totally embarrassed for her.

I noticed your first 6 paragraphs all started with the same word -- Kathie. You may want to work on putting some variety into the beginning of each paragraph.

Great job with the topic.
Betty Castleberry08/01/07
Well, it certainly was a disaster. I can't think anything much more embarrassing. You captured your MC's feelings well. Kudos.
Julie Arduini08/01/07
Yep, that would be a wedding disaster. You captured the emotions well here, a great story telling for sure. I kind of held my breath reading, I was that captivated.
David Butler 08/02/07
If you can make so many of us (myself included) want to crawl into a tiny whole along with your MC, that's a sign of good writing. (A bit crowded here though.)
Makes me wonder if there'll be a happy ending in your sequel. ;)
Well done.